Zarbon's Awkward Years Saga
by Karatelover
Summary: As Zarbon hits puberty and becomes a young gentleman he faces teenage anguish, change in his friendships, chemical imbalances, depression and a whole lot of other comady situations with his two best and probably only friends Apple and Kiwi!
1. Chapter 1

**Next Up, Military School**

Zarbon was still a child, although he was going through an awkward phase in his life, puberty! Although he was not bulky or tall yet, he was getting there, very slowly. At least he lost all that fat off his body when he was a young boy; perhaps Freezer spoiled him too much with sweets.

Zarbon was in the dining room with Freezer alone, he was only fourteen years old, he had to dress elegantly in Freezer's presence or else Freezer would get mad at him, Freezer was after all his adoptive father, master and predecessor. He was sitting at the table staring at a salad that was made for him, "Freezer you expect me to eat this?" Zarbon asked confused.

"Yes I do, you need to grow strong and bulky, since those steroids didn't seem to have much of an effect," he said.

Not that Freezer knew, but Zarbon flushed them down the toilet, because he did not trust what Freezer gave to him, Freezer was a psychopath how could anyone trust him? Zarbon began to laugh at the idea of him flushing his steroids down the toilet, Freezer turned to him, "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Oh nothing, so anyways why did you call me in?" he asked. "I called you here today because I would like to tell you a few things, first of all, your best friend and ex girlfriend Liya is getting married," Freezer said.

"What? She's only fourteen just like me." Zarbon said.

"Well we had to get her married off, because she did something really reckless and impulsive." Freezer said closing his eyes with irritation.

"What did she do?" asked Zarbon.

"She'll tell you herself, anyways she's going to marry that Carpathian Prince and she's going to live in his house, for now." Freezer said.

"I should at least go and help her pack!" Zarbon said about to get up.

"Not so fast! Sit down; I need to tell you something else." Freezer said.

"Am I getting married too?" Zarbon asked innocently gulping.

Freezer laughed, "Absolutely not, you're going to military school my boy to become a solder and a general!" Freezer said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "But Freezer I hate algebra, and I'm terrible at geometry!" Zarbon said.

"Look you've been nothing but a spoiled brat and its time that I quit going easy on you and get your ass out of the palace! All you do is run around, sleep and eat! You need exercise, not that Shasha training you wasn't enough." Freezer said, but seriously, Freezer did not go that easy on Zarbon like he said he did, he was just getting a little harder on him was all.

"That's why I take gymnastics and karate!" Zarbon said.

"Zarbon you're going to school and that's final!" Freezer said.

"Oh bollocks!" Zarbon said.

"Watch your tongue young man!" Freezer said.

Liya was in her room packing her stuff, well not all of it, only the things that she needed, Zarbon zoomed into her room like there was no tomorrow. "Liya, where are you going?" asked Zarbon.

"I have to get married to a Carpathian prince that I don't even like." She said annoyed.

"Why? What happened? " Zarbon asked.

"Well to make a long story short, I thought he was attractive, he came to planet Freezer to do some business with Freezer, and he saw me and I saw him, I thought I loved him at first sight, then it happened." She said.

"What?" asked Zarbon.

"I got drunk and slept with him, this is the first time I've lost my virginity, to someone that I just met, although he's the same species as I am." She said.

"You're lucky, I lost my virginity to Freezer and I didn't have a choice!" Zarbon said.

"I'm not so lucky." She sighed.

"What do you mean?" Zarbon said.

"Based on that night, I got pregnant and now I'm with child." She said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "No offence Liya, but you're too young to be a mother," Zarbon said.

"I know I am I'll be taking time off to raise a family." She said.

Zarbon sighed, "But Liya, what about us," he asked.

"Zarbon dear, I will always have a special place in my heart for you, but since our species aren't close enough to mate, I can't be with you." She said.

"But Liya…." He said hurt.

"Sorry Zarbon that's the way it's supposed to be. I don't have a choice in the matter, Freezer won't let me get an abortion, and he's against abortion, sort of." She said.

Zarbon then thought of a clever idea, "Maybe we can get you that abortion!" he said.

Liya's eyes grew wide, "Its illegal, I'm not allowed to..."

"No I can operate on you!" Zarbon said.

Next thing you know, Liya was lying down on the table with a sheet over her, while Zarbon dressed up like a doctor with a mask on. He was looking at an anatomy book, "Are you sure this is a good idea? You're not a physician!" Liya said.

"But I'm a quick learner! Ok I think I got it all figured out," Zarbon took a knife and lifted up the sheet.

Now Liya was scared, "Zarbon aren't you supposed to put me to sleep first?" she asked.

"Yah, yah in a moment, I just want to get a last look at you before I attempt anything." He said.

"It's not like we're playing doctor like we used to, this is an actual operation that has to take place! There is a living thing inside of me!" she yelled about to cry.

"Here we go, wait a minute let me put on that propofol first." He said turning the switch on, the machine would not start up. "Never mind I'm going to have to do it to you awake." Zarbon said.

"Oh God!" said Liya.

Zarbon lifted the sheet up again, "I can't do it!" he said.

"Why not?" asked Liya.

"Because there is a living thing inside of you," Zarbon said crying.

"Just do it you bomb happy idiot!" Liya yelled impatiently.

"Ok, ok, I'll do it, but I'm not going to like it!" Zarbon lifted the sheet up again, then all the sudden Dodoria walked into the room and stared at Zarbon and Liya, they looked back at him and smiled, "Hello Dodoria, we were playing doctor!" Zarbon said.

Freezer was pissed off at Zarbon, "Zarbon I can't tell you how disappointed I am in you!" he said.

"But I was just trying to help Liya out so that she didn't have to raise a child that she didn't want." He said innocently.

"You've gone too far, abortion is against the law, I'm sending you to military school tomorrow, pack your things, you're going!" he said.

"No!" yelled Zarbon.

"Yes! You're going to like it there, and you'll be happy there!" Freezer said.

"I'm not going!" Zarbon said.

Next day Zarbon had his stuff packed and he went to military school. The first day of school was horrible, everyone wore school uniforms, and Zarbon's hair was in a braid.

He just sat there in class all quiet while the teacher was lecturing, and some of the kids, who were regular changelings, Freezer's species, crumbled up a piece of paper and threw it at Zarbon's head. Zarbon turned around that they were giggling at him, he just turned back around, this was the first time he has been around so many students, other than private tutoring with Liya, and he was just painfully shy.

General Corm, who happened to be Freezer's general, but did not live in the palace, he taught strategy class. He was a hard man, and he was a changeling just like Freezer, in fact, there were more changelings then primal changelings, Zarbon was just another minority that would have it hard.

That same changeling kid threw another wad of paper at Zarbon's head, Zarbon then turned around, "Will you cut it out, I'm trying to learn!" yelled Zarbon in a cracked voice.

The kids laughed at him, General Corm then walked up to Zarbon, "Is there a problem son?" he asked.

"No sir, except I'm a little bit distracted by that guy over there!" he pointed to that changeling kid that threw the wad of paper at him.

"Aztec may I see you after class? Report to the front of the room, front and center!" General Corm said.

"You're going to die after class!" yelled Aztec looking at Zarbon.

"Oh I'm really scared!" Zarbon said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

After class Zarbon walked into the hallway going to his locker, then all the sudden Aztec pounded him into the locker, "So you got something to say to me?" asked Aztec!

"What are you talking about I have done nothing to you!" Zarbon said looking angry.

"Why don't you feel the wrath of my fist punk?" Aztec said about to punch Zarbon.

"You will do no such thing!" he then grabbed his fist quickly, swung him by the wrist, and then threw him into the other lockers. Zarbon then closed his locker door and ran fast and then ran into somebody and fell down.

"Are you all right?" asked a girl about his age, he looked up and saw what appeared to be someone of his own species, she had beautiful purple eyes, with thick black hair and those full lips, she had turquoise skin just like he did, although she was taller than him. Zarbon was in heaven, he has never seen such a beautiful young woman in all his life, well other than his own mother, but that was back when he was a little kid, barely even four.

"I'm fine," he said ecstatic.

"Here let me help you up," she then took him by the hand and helped him up.

"Wow what are you, I mean what's your name?" he asked excited.

"I'm Dashanya, but people call me Dasha" she said in a proper English sounding accent.

"Wow I'm Zarbon, I'm new here!" he said.

All the sudden someone picked him up, "What's going on?" asked Zarbon.

"It's payback time!" yelled Aztec he then threw Zarbon into a locker.

"Oh bollocks!" Zarbon then knocked out cold.

When Zarbon woke up he was in the nurse's office, "Where am I?" asked Zarbon.

"You're in the nurse's office," Dashanya said.

"What happened to Aztec?" Zarbon said.

"Don't worry I took care of him, he made a bad boyfriend anyways." She said.

"Wait Aztec is your boyfriend? Oh bollocks!" Zarbon said.

"Correction ex boyfriend, you're my new boyfriend now." She said.

"Cool," Zarbon said with a smile on his face.

After the nurse treated Zarbon's bruises, he and Dashanya went to a field where they were running and having fun, then Zarbon jumped on her and they rolled down a hill together. They were laughing and having a good time, and then they sat in the field looking up at the sky, "Wow this has been the best day of my life," Zarbon said.

"I know I wish everyday could be like this one!" Dashanya said.

"Hey Zarbon I have a question, are you a virgin?" asked Dashanya.

"Excuse me, but what is a virgin?" asked Zarbon.

"Someone who hasn't had sex before," Dashanya said.

"Sorry to ask but is sex when someone sticks his penis in someone's butthole?" asked Zarbon.

Her eyes grew wide, "What in the world? I was talking about sticking a penis in a vagina, for instance I have a vagina I think you have a penis. " Dashanya said.

"Well yet that's true, but I don't really do anything with it except pee out of it." Zarbon said.

"Look lets go back to my house so I can see your penis, here I'll show you my vagina." She took her pants off to show Zarbon.

"Wow amazing!" he said.

"Now I will show you my boobs!" she then took her school shirt off and then her bra.

"Wow what knockers!" Zarbon said.

"Now you show your penis to me!" she said. Zarbon then looked at the ground and then looked sad, "What the matter, are you too chicken?" she asked.

"No I just don't know if it's such a good idea, Freezer says if I have sex with a woman then he'll murder me." He said.

"You live with Freezer? Boy do I feel sorry for you! Freezer is the most hated man on the planet! You should come and live with me!" she said.

"Well I can't I… I mean it's too soon and I…" he looked at her and she glared at him.

"You love me don't you?" she asked.

"Yes I do, I mean I just met you, and you are my species, but at the same time…" she interrupted him.

"Let's go!" she took him by the hand and took him to her house. They got to her house, her parents were not home and Zarbon saw her father's workout set.

"Wow cool your dad lifts weights?" he went over to her dad's weight set and started lifting weights.

"Yah about that, my dad doesn't like it when anyone touches his weights." She said she took him to her room.

"Now will you show your penis to me!" she asked.

"Ok sure, nobody is here are they?" he asked, she looked at him.

"No, but I want to see your penis." She said.

"Ok fine hold on," he then took his pants off and his underwear and showed her his penis.

"Wow," she said. All the sudden her mother came into the room and saw that Zarbon was with his pants and underwear down, she screamed.

"Get out of here away from my daughter!" she took a broom and started hitting him with it.

"Please madam all I was doing was showing her my penis!" he said.

"Get out!" she yelled, and then Zarbon ran out of the house back to the palace.

Back at the palace, he closed the doors to his room shut and he ran to his bed and started crying, there was a knock on the door, it was Freezer, he opened the door. "How was your first day of school Zarbon!" he asked.

"It was terrible, this guy picked me up and threw me into the lockers, and then I met this really pretty girl, who was my species, and she showed me her breasts and vagina and then I showed her my penis and….." Freezer interrupted him.

Freezer's eyes were wide, "Report to my office front and center!" he yelled.

Zarbon was in his office, "Now Zarbon I sent you to military school for an important reason, you want know what the reason was?" he asked.

"Yes to become a general," he said.

"So why the hell are you screwing around with a girl! Damn it Zarbon, you're not supposed to have sex with women!" he said.

Zarbon blushed, "I didn't want to, she wanted to have sex with me!" he said.

"No excuse, next time you go to school tell your little girlfriend to stay away from you and that you have better things to do." He said.

"But nothing happ…" Freezer once again interrupted him.

"Do it!" he yelled.

"Yes sir." Zarbon said sighing.

Next day at school, Dashanya went up to Zarbon in the hallway, "Hello."

"Hello." He said back.

"Yesterday was really awkward wasn't it?" she asked.

"Yah I don't think I ever want to do that again." Zarbon said.

"So you want to go to a movie this weekend?" she asked.

"But I have to do homework, I can't be hanging out with anyone, Freezer said so." He said.

"What did you tell him yesterday?" she asked.

"Uh nothing, I just said that I met a nice girl and he told me that I couldn't hang out with you." He said nervously.

"Studying is so boring, why would you even stoop to such a thing?" she asked.

"Because I want to have a good life, education can be the key to success, quote by Nelson Mandela!" he said.

She looked at him funny, "I don't know who Nelson Mandela is, but you're coming to the movie with me and that's final!"

Zarbon looked at her funny, "But…"

"No buts, you need to have fun, you're much too boring!" she said.

"I most certainly am not!" he said.

"Then come to the movie," she said.

"All right, all right, I just have to find a way to sneak out." He said.

Next night he snuck out, telling Freezer that he was much too sick to be at dinner, Kiwi and Apple helped him out, Apple pretended to look after him in bed whereas Kiwi hid under the covers pretending to be Zarbon.

Meanwhile Zarbon was at the movie with Dashanya they were watching a horror movie, it was scary, while Dasha was enjoying the movie, Zarbon hid under his jacket. "What's the matter? Don't you like the movie?" she asked.

"No I hate movies like that," he said.

"I got a great idea, let's sneak into another movie and watch it," she said.

"But that's illegal, that's not right," he said.

"Let's do it, we're not going to get caught or anything." She said.

"Ok fine." They then went into another movie, it was a romance movie, and there was a bunch of kissing on the screen.

Dasha was bored, "You call this cinema!" she asked.

"I think that's really sweet that they love each other, I wish someone would love me like that." Zarbon said.

"Oh you're such a pussy! Come on let's get into another movie!" she said.

"That doesn't sound like such a good idea…" before Zarbon could finish she grabbed him by the arm and took him into another movie, it was an action flick this time.

As they were watching it, she grabbed him and kissed him on the lips and he kissed her back. "Let's go this movie is boring!" she said.

"Yah you're right, maybe tonight wasn't a good night for a movie." He said.

"No we're going to go to one of those foreign flicks." She said.

"I don't even like foreign movies!" Zarbon said.

They were about to walk into the theater, then all the sudden the ticket person stopped them, "Just a moment there!" he yelled.

"Uh oh." Zarbon said.

"Show me your tickets," he said.

"We don't have tickets," Zarbon said.

All the sudden the ticket guy got onto his radio, "Yep we have a couple of juvenile delinquents going in and out of different movies, you're coming me!" he said.

They were at prison behind the bars, "I can't believe that we got put into jail! I told you this was a horrible idea!" Zarbon said.

"I suggest we get someone to bail us out." Dashanya said.

"Good idea, I'll call Kiwi and see if he can come and get me," Zarbon said.

The police officer let Zarbon use the phone and he called Kiwi, "Hello Zarbon's room." He said.

"Kiwi you need to bale me out!" he said.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"I'm in jail, I'll explain the whole story later…." Zarbon said.

"Hold on we're coming…" Freezer interrupted Kiwi by coming into the room with a bowl of soup.

"Zarbon the cook made you some soup, you need to eat it!" Freezer said.

Kiwi was under the covers, oh God he had to mimic Zarbon's voice, so that is what he tried to do, "Sorry I'm pucking really badly!" he said in a horrible proper English voice.

"Nonsense I don't hear gagging." Freezer said.

Kiwi started to fake gag, Apple could not help but laugh. "What's so funny Apple, as you can see the boy is clearly sick!" Freezer asked.

"That's not it, I just heard this really funny joke today and I…"Freezer interrupted Apple.

"Tell me it!" Freezer said.

"Oh boy how did that go again? Oh why did…."

Freezer interrupted him, "There is no joke is there?" he asked.

"Of course there is it's just that you interrupted me!" Apple said.

Freezer pulled the covers up from Kiwi; Kiwi was still fake pucking only to find out that Freezer was right next to him. "Kiwi that's got to be the most pathetic act you've put on since you tried out for that one movie." Freezer said.

Oh did we tell you, Kiwi wanted to be in a commercial for a propaganda campaign that Freezer lounged, sadly he did not get the part.

"Where is Zarbon? Tell me or I'll kill you right now!" yelled Freezer.

"He's in prison!" Kiwi said.

"Why?" asked Freezer.

"He didn't say but we have to bail him out!" Kiwi said.

"I got a better idea, we'll let him spend the night in jail then we'll get him in the morning, I'm going to bed!" with that Freezer went straight to bed.

The next morning the officer came into the room, "Zarbon your friends are here to bail you out." He said.

"All right!" Zarbon was excited, that was until Freezer showed up with Kiwi and Apple. "Oh no!" he said.

"Well, well how did you manage to get yourself into this mess Zarbon?" Freezer asked.

"It wasn't my fault…." He said.

"Explain later, you're coming home right now!" Freezer yelled.

"Hey what about me?" asked Dasha.

"Sorry bitch but Zarbon is mine!" he yelled and they walked out of the police station.

When they got home, Freezer slapped Zarbon in the face in front of his men, "You little whore, I told you not to go out with that wench and what do you do, you disobey me!" he yelled.

"But I didn't do anything with her, but watch a movie!" he said.

"Oh yah then why did the police tell me that you two were running in and out of different movies without paying for those movies?" asked Freezer.

"We got board, and it was her idea!" Zarbon said.

Dodoria and Shasha started laughing, "Looks like someone is in trouble again!" Dodoria said laughing.

"Zarbon from now on I require an escort with you to school! Kiwi how would you like some time off?" asked Freezer.

"Sure that would be grea….."

"Well then watch over Zarbon while he's at school for me why don't you?" he asked.

"But you said that I could have time off….."

"Thank you Kiwi I appreciate your services to our dear little future ruler of the universe!" Freezer said.

"Rats!" Kiwi said.

Next day at school, everyone was snickering at Zarbon, "Thanks a lot Zarbon, now I can't have any time off!" Kiwi said.

"I think what he meant was time off of going to planets and taking them over." Zarbon said.

"Oh look at Zarbon's new girlfriend I bet you two butt fuck all the time!" yelled Aztec laughing with his friends.

"Look you little twerp I don't even want to be here!" Kiwi said.

"Just ignore him Kiwi, that's what I try to do!" Zarbon said.

"Hey Zarbon are you treating my ex well? Because I'm going to kick your ass if she goes back to jail!" yelled Aztec.

"Shut up Aztec, you know nothing about love!" Zarbon said.

"I think you better watch it kid." Kiwi said.

General Corm walked to the front of the room and looked at Kiwi, "Before we begin class I believe that we have a new student, please stand up whatever your name is." General Corm said.

Everyone looked at Kiwi, "What's everyone looking at me for?" asked Kiwi.

"He thinks you're a new student that's why." Zarbon said.

Kiwi then stood up, "Hello my name is Kiwi, and I'm not really a student." He said.

General Corm glared at him, "So what are you exactly?"

"I'm Zarbon's escort, apparently he's been having some girl trouble and Freezer suggested that I watch him while he was in school to prevent him from talking to girls." Kiwi said.

Everyone started laughing while General Corm rolled his eyes, "Yes Freezer is quite stubborn isn't he? Ok let's begin class. Now we're going to go over some military strategies just like I promised yesterday! Now when you begin this course you'll have to take plenty of notes….." he continued.

Meanwhile Aztec threw a wad of paper at Kiwi, "Zarbon Aztec is throwing a wad of paper at me." Kiwi said.

"Just ignore him." Zarbon said.

Aztec did it again, "Zarbon could you tell him to stop," Kiwi said.

"Kiwi I'm trying to take notes." Zarbon said whispering.

"Ok fine I'll try." He said. All the sudden Aztec threw another wad of paper at Kiwi, "That does it someone is going to get his ass kicked!" yelled Kiwi.

General Corm turned around, "Mr. Kiwi will you please shut up! I'm trying to teach the class and you're becoming a distraction!" he yelled.

"Yes sir!" he said. The general continued, then Aztec threw another wad of paper at Kiwi, "That does it you're going to get it now bitch!" Kiwi got out of his set and started beating the crap out of Aztec.

"Mr. Kiwi, I'm going to have to ask you to leave!" yelled General Corm.

"Fine I'll leave, I'm taking the rest of the day off!" yelled Kiwi. He walked out of the classroom.

At lunch Zarbon sat alone and it appeared that nobody was really his friend now, damn that age was hard for even a human to go through, he felt alone and awkward.

Why did Liya have to get married so early and raise a family? Why did Kiwi have to go off duty so soon, God he was so dumb sometimes.

He just took out his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which was his favorite type of lunch and started eating it. He then wondered why nobody would talk to him, perhaps his now ex girlfriend was spreading rumors about him, or maybe Aztec was the one who told everyone to stay away from him. "Hey you!" yelled a girl.

Zarbon turned around, "Yes?" he asked.

It was a girl changeling, she was pretty with long purple hair and red eyes, "Why are you sitting by yourself?" she asked.

"Oh I have no friends, and I'm rather shy." Zarbon said.

She looked at him, "Wait here." She said. She then came back with her girlfriends, some of them were primal changelings like Zarbon and some of them were changelings like Freezer.

"We'll sit with you!" one of the primal changelings said.

They then started to sit down next to Zarbon; he began to flush, never before had so many girls surrounded him, he was just so shy he did not know what to think. Then Aztec looked at Zarbon's table, "Hum you know what I've been thinking Armand? There must be something cool about that Zarbon kid for a bunch of girls to go and sit by him." Aztec said.

"I say we join them, I'm not going to let him hog the spotlight." Armand said.

They walked over to Zarbon's table, "May we please sit with you?" asked Aztec.

"As long as you don't pick on me anymore then yes," Zarbon said.

"We won't, we were just messing with you is all," Armand said. They then sat at the table and started eating their lunch with Zarbon and the other girls.

Meanwhile Dashanya looked over at Zarbon and everyone else, she got mad, "Uh men are so stupid, they'll stick together even if it means dumping their girlfriends!" she then furiously took her lunch outside, by herself.

End of Story


	2. Chapter 2

_Promises are Promises_

Zarbon was at a tattoo parlor, he was getting a tattoo on his back, it has been two weeks since his birthday has past, he was now fifteen with his haircut short, "Hold still kid." The tattoo guy said.

"Ouch! It hurts, how does it look?" asked Zarbon.

"It looks beautiful kid, keep holding still." Tattoo guy said.

"Ok," Zarbon said.

Two hours later he was all finished, Zarbon got off the table and looked at his tattoo in the mirror, actually there were two tattoos, one was in Japanese which was his name, and the other was in English written in his name mixed in with the colors, light blue, dark green and dark pink. "I love them, do you do piercings too?" asked Zarbon.

"Where do you want it?" asked the tattoo guy.

"In my navel," Zarbon said lifting his shirt up.

The tattoo guy got his piercing gun out, "Hold still kid." He said piercing it.

"Looks good, thank you," Zarbon said giving him money.

Zarbon walked out of the shop down the sidewalk some girls were staring at him, he was growing from an ugly duckling into a great beauty.

He flew home, landed at the steps of the palace, and walked inside with Apple greeting him, "Wow I like your hair Zarbon." Apple said.

"Thank you Apple." Zarbon said going to see Freezer.

Freezer had company over, his father's sister, her husband and their twelve year old daughter Icey, Zarbon all the sudden burst through the door, "Wasz up Freezer? " Zarbon asked.

"Teenagers, I'm trying to talk to my father's sister." Freezer said.

"Oh Freezer I was thinking about you today and how much I missed you." Zarbon said hugging him.

Freezer rolled his eyes, "What did you do?" asked Freezer.

"Nothing," Zarbon said.

"Is he yours Freezer?" asked Aunt May.

"No I adopted him, I regretted it ever since." Freezer said.

"Oh he's been so good to me, in fact he let me keep the name that my mother gave to me, which is the only good thing he has ever done for me." Zarbon said.

"What was the name that your mother gave to you?" asked Aunt May.

"Zarbon," Zarbon said.

"Freezer you need to discipline him more." Aunt May said hitting Freezer upside the head.

"Auntie May please!" Freezer said.

Zarbon laughed a little, "He does whip my back whenever I misbehaved." Zarbon said.

"Prove it." Auntie May said.

"Well he hasn't done it in a month." Zarbon said.

"Show us your back anyways." Aunt May said.

"If you insist," Zarbon then lifted his shirt up and showed them his growing muscles.

"Oh my God, he's got two horrid tattoos!" Aunt May said.

Freezer looked at his back and saw them, "Zarbon!" he said.

"They're not horrid, they're lovely!" Zarbon said.

"I gave you birthday money, what did you do with it?" asked Freezer.

"I spent it on a haircut, tattoo and navel piercing." Zarbon said.

"What you mean to tell me that you spent your money on stupid tattoos that are washable?" asked Freezer.

"The tattoos are permanent." Zarbon said.

"He does have nice abs I must admit and big back bones too." Aunt May said.

"Did you put him on steroids, the last time I saw him he was a fatso." Uncle Herb said.

"No, he's turning out to be a great weight lifter is all, of course there's one in every package!" Freezer laughed at his own joke but nobody laughed. "Yes he's becoming a big man," Freezer said.

Icey was staring at Zarbon, she was amazed at how young and handsome he was, "Freezer your son is very cute!" Icey said.

Zarbon looked over at her and blushed a little bit, "I better go, see you later." Zarbon said running out of the room shyly.

"Yah bye Zarbon," Freezer said.

Zarbon was walking down the hallway and bumped into Kiwi, "Hey Zarbon what's up?" asked Kiwi.

"I got a navel piercing and two tattoos." Zarbon said.

"Zarbon, why are you Goth all the sudden?" Kiwi asked.

"It's nothing; I just needed a change is all." Zarbon said.

"You're going through one of those adolescence crisis aren't you?" asked Kiwi.

"Maybe I'm not sure what you're talking about." Zarbon said.

"You know you miss Liya so you go and do something as dumb as getting your navel pierced, we all go through those crisis and…" Before Kiwi could finish, Zarbon walked away.

Zarbon ran to his room and slammed the door shut, he went and sat on his bed, it had been months since Liya his ex girlfriend got married and had a daughter by someone her own species. He found out that she was pregnant when the two were just fourteen years old, he tried to give her an abortion, and then Freezer sent him to military academy.

He then looked at a picture, in the picture they were kids, then he threw it across the room, went into his bathroom, and shut the door behind him. He had a knife in there and he put it to his wrist.

Apple knocked on the door, "Zarbon come on Kiwi and I are worried about you, you haven't been acting like yourself lately!" Apple said. He knocked on it again, "Zarbon I saw you come in here, you can't fool me!" Apple said.

All the sudden Apple's manly intuition told him that something wasn't right, so he broke down the door, but Zarbon was nowhere in sight, then he thought about him in the bathroom. So he knocked on the door, but no answer, so he opened the door and saw Zarbon lying unconscious on the floor, "Oh my God Zarbon!" he yelled.

Later on Zarbon was at the hospital in a bed, and he slowly woke up, "Where am I?" he asked slurring his words.

Freezer, Apple and Kiwi were in the room sitting in front of him, "Guys could you please leave I need to talk to Zarbon alone!" Freezer said. Kiwi and Apple got up and left the room.

Freezer walked up to Zarbon and slapped him in the face, "Shame on you! You are a selfish pig you know that! If you were my real son I would have killed you by now!" Freezer said.

Zarbon was still a little drowsy from the medicine, "What did I do exactly?" he asked.

"That is the fifth time this year that you cut yourself! You fucken idiot are you trying to kill yourself?" asked Freezer.

"I love you Liya." Zarbon said.

"Ah ha I knew it! You are still in love with that long snouted girl, are you not? She's married and has a baby now, so get over her as soon as you can!" Freezer said.

"Why couldn't we be together?" Zarbon asked.

"I'm not Liya Zarbon, it's me Freezer your boss, your adoptive father, your emperor!" Freezer yelled.

"Liya why did that horrid Freezer make you marry that man?" Zarbon asked still delusional.

"Uh I don't think I'm getting through to him!" Freezer said leaving the room.

Later on that night Freezer was sitting down in front of the fireplace with his Auntie May, Uncle Herb and Icey, "So he tried to kill himself for what number of time?" asked Auntie May.

"The fifth time this year." Freezer said.

"What's his problem?" Uncle Herb asked.

"It had something to do with a girl." Freezer said.

"It's that time of his life going through puberty I suppose." Uncle Herb said.

"So he goes and cuts himself?" Freezer asked.

"I thought he was so cute, will he be all right?" Icey asked.

"Yes I must admit that he's very attractive." All the sudden Freezer smiled and looked at Icey, he perhaps thought of an idea to get Zarbon to stop looking at Liya and focus his attention elsewhere.

"You think he's cute hum?" Freezer asked.

"Yes I do, he has a sexy voice and he is just adorable to look at!" Icey said.

"We'll see if he'll be able to get to know you better." Freezer said chuckling.

Meanwhile in the hospital Kiwi and Apple were at Zarbon's side non-stop, they were both his best friends and past babysitters and they were there for him. He would have been there for them if they were going through some tough times. "I don't understand why Liya would do such a horrible thing like that." Zarbon said.

"Look Liya has a baby now, it's beyond your control Zarbon." Apple said.

"Just forget about her, she's lame anyways, she's not even the same species as you." Kiwi said.

"But it's not fair." Zarbon said.

"Life sucks you need to find a way to deal with it, when you get home, we'll just go out to eat just the three of us alright? No girlfriends, whores or Freezer all right?" Kiwi said.

"Ok that's fine." Zarbon said.

A couple of days later Zarbon got home and he went out the eat with Apple and Kiwi, they had a good time and he got back late at night and they were laughing and having a good time, until they saw Shasha standing in front of the palace. He was Freezer's other primal changeling that worked for him, besides Zarbon.

"Zarbon, Freezer wants to see you." Shasha said in his thick Russian accent and raspy voice.

"I don't want to talk to him!" Zarbon said.

"You have no say so in matter, besides he wants to apologize to you for losing his temper with you. He even has a surprise for you, come with me!" Shasha said walking into the palace.

"See you guys later." Zarbon said saying goodbye to Kiwi and Apple and he went into the palace following Shasha.

Zarbon walked into Freezer's private office, "Do you have something to say to me?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes I wanted to apologize for being cross with you, but I don't want you to kill yourself over a girl, that's the dumbest thing a man can do." Freezer said.

"Hey I'm a very sensitive person sir!" Zarbon said.

"I know that, and for that reason I'm going to set you up on a date so that you can forget Liya for a while." Freezer said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "But I'm not allowed to date you said so yourself!" Zarbon said.

"Oh Icey come on out!" Freezer said.

Icey came out from hiding, "Oh my God it's him! Zarbon come here love!" She yelled running over to him and kissing his arms.

"I see that you're happy to see me Icey." Zarbon said with a confused look on his face.

"You're going on a date with her tomorrow night!" Freezer said.

"She's only twelve, that's way too young." Zarbon said.

"Her father approved, so take her out to some fancy restaurant and pay for it! I'll give you the money." Freezer said.

"Oh I can't wait!" Icey said.

"I suggest that you put on a tie!" Freezer said.

"Yes then I can fuck you tonight!" Icey yelled.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Excuse me?" asked Zarbon who was no womanizer.

"I guess I forgot to tell you, she has Tourette syndrome, sometimes she ends up saying things that just come out of her mouth that she shouldn't say." Freezer said.

Later on Zarbon was talking on the phone with Apple when the time for curfew came, "He wants me to take his cousin Icey out on a date, she's only twelve years old." Zarbon said.

"Look I suggest you do it and get it over with so that you can move on with your life." Apple said.

"But being on the rebound isn't such a good idea, especially when you are still in love with someone." Zarbon said.

"Just give her a chance Zarbon, you might end up liking her, I think she's a nice girl, she's a brat that's for sure, but she's not so bad once you get to know her." Apple said. Zarbon then sighed.

Next night Zarbon wore the nicest thing he had, no not his Sayain armor either, it was more like a tuxedo. He went to all that trouble just to get a limo for her to drive her to the restraint and got her roses. He rang the doorbell and Auntie May opened the door up, "Hey Icey your date's here!" She said.

"Hold on mom, I can't find my thong!" She yelled.

Zarbon put on a fake smile, "Fix your collar you look like a peasant." Auntie May said fixing Zarbon's collar.

"I'm coming!" Icey yelled, she ran down the stairs dressed up all fancy and then she tripped and fell down the stairs.

Zarbon then inappropriately said, "Ouch that looks like that hurts." He said.

"Maybe Freezer should send you to charm school; I'll take him up on it." Auntie May said.

"Right hold on," Zarbon then ran over to Icey and helped her up.

"Thank you, you are so kind, usually when I fall down people laugh at me at school." She said.

"I got you some roses." Zarbon said giving her the roses.

"Oh you got those for me, how sweet!" She said sniffing them, she looked out the window, "You got me a limo too?" she asked.

Zarbon chuckled, "Actually I'm just using it for tonight so it can take you to your favorite restaurant." Zarbon said.

"Let's go, bye mum!" Icey said grabbing Zarbon's hand and leading him to the limo.

They got to the restraint in fifteen minutes, it was a nice place called Le Snob, Zarbon and Icey walked up to the host, "May I help you?" asked the Host.

"Yes, Freezer party of two." Zarbon said.

"Yes follow me please." He walked away.

"Let's follow him Zarbon!" Icey said dragging Zarbon to the table.

The host pulled out a chair for Zarbon and set himself down, then when he tried to pull out a chair for Icey she missed and fell to the floor, everyone in the restraint stared at her, "I'm okay assholes!" she said aloud.

The waiter came over, "Ok what can I get for you?" he asked.

"I'll take a root beer." Zarbon said.

"We don't have root beer." The waiter said.

"Ok how about diet coke." Zarbon said.

"I'll have the same thing he's having!" Icey said smiling.

"Copycat," Zarbon said as the waiter left.

The waiter came back with their drinks, "Thank you." Zarbon said.

"What will you have sir?" asked the waiter.

"I'll have octopus tentacles, ink free." Zarbon said handing the waiter his menu.

"I'll have a spicy shrimp!" she gave the menu to the waiter and he left.

"So Zarbon tell me what was Freezer like as a dad?" Icey asked.

Zarbon did not know how to tell her, he could not just spit out that Freezer sexually abused him since he was at the tender age of four, "What can I say he was a very protective interesting dad!" Zarbon lied.

"It must be an honor to be the heir to the throne of Freezer's empire; he says I'm too retarded to be the heir to his throne." Icey said.

"That's not very classy." Zarbon said.

"Are you always about classiness?" Icey asked.

A half an hour later the waiter came back with the food, "Thank you." Zarbon said.

"Thank you dimwit! Oh no another Tourette moment!" She said giggling.

Zarbon rolled his eyes he then started eating, Icey started eating too, but then she spit the shrimp out, "What's the matter, you don't like it?" asked Zarbon.

"It taste horrible, someone should literally shit on it!" she said.

"That's a bit extreme if you must ask me." Zarbon said.

"I didn't ask you cretin!" she said, she then covered her mouth, "Sorry, I have Tourette really badly tonight." She said.

"Why don't you try one of my tentacles, they're very good." Zarbon said.

"All right then," Icey then grabbed one of Zarbon's tentacles off his plate and started eating it then she threw up in front of him.

"I say we just go home now, unless you care for some desert." Zarbon said.

"No way!" Icey said.

After Zarbon paid the bill, the limo drove them both home to Icey's house and Zarbon walked Icey to the door, "I had a wonderful time thank you!" She said then grabbed him and kissed him on the lips.

"You're welcome, admit it, it was the most horrible thing you have ever done for a date." Zarbon said.

"Yes it was quite terrible you are boring and you smell like honeydew." She said. She then said at a hideous volume, "Good night!"

"Icey keep it down, people are trying to sleep!" Zarbon said.

That night Zarbon was talking to Kiwi and Apple on the phone after curfew using three-way, "She was absolutely rude, I don't think she could help it, but based on what I've seen of Freezer's aunt and uncle I would except her to act better than that." Zarbon said.

"Just tell Freezer that it didn't work out as well as you thought it would, but tell him thank you." Apple said.

"No way, tell him that Icey is such a brat and that you hope that you never see her again!" Kiwi said.

"But Kiwi that's rude, you can't say that to someone who was actually acting considerate for once." Apple said.

"Yah right, Freezer probably hooked them up because he hates Icey and he wanted to make her life miserable by going out with someone as boring as Zarbon." Kiwi said.

"Hey that's not nice." Zarbon said.

"Kiwi don't talk about Zarbon that way, Zarbon isn't the problem here, its Icey I mean she's nice and all but she didn't obviously take her medicine." Apple said.

Zarbon sighed, "Good night guys." He then hung the phone up and went to bed.

The next day Zarbon was in Freezer's private office, "How did it go last night?" Freezer asked.

"Honestly?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes give me all your honesty." Freezer said.

"How do I put this, doesn't Icey take medicine?" asked Zarbon.

"What happened?" asked Freezer.

"She talks really loud and she threw up in the restaurant, so the date was an ultimate disaster." Zarbon said.

"Brilliant just as I planned!" Freezer said.

"Planned, I thought you made her go on a date with me so that I could not think about Liya." Zarbon said.

"Yes that was the original plan, but the new plan is to marry you off to her." Freezer said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "Ok now you're just thinking like a retard, I can't marry her, she said so herself that she thought I was boring, why would I marry someone that is my second cousin?" Zarbon asked.

"I'm trying to make her life miserable and make you happy so that you won't go after that sluty Liya!" Freezer said.

"Liya's not a slut." Zarbon said.

"Oh Icey I have a surprise for you come on out!" Freezer said.

Icey came out of the closet, "Yes Freezer?" she asked.

"Zarbon has agreed to marry you!" Freezer said.

"Is that so, no offence but why didn't you pick someone my own species?" asked Icey.

"Never mind that, we're going to be one big happy family!" Freezer said hugging both Icey and Zarbon.

"But we just met Freezer, how could you marry me off to this terd? I'm so sorry Zarbon!" Icey asked.

"Monday it is!" Freezer said Zarbon then swooned.

"Zarbon are you all right?" Icey asked trying to wake him up.

On Monday, doomsday arrived and Apple was helping Zarbon dressed up for his wedding that he did not want to go on with, "I can dress myself Apple, you don't need to help me." Zarbon said, and then he started sulking.

"Zarbon look at how miserable you are did you tell Freezer that you didn't enjoy your date?" Apple asked.

"Yes I did, and Icey tried to tell Freezer that she didn't want to marry me either." Zarbon said.

"You have to follow your heart Zarbon, even if it takes you in the wrong direction." Apple said.

"So are you saying that I should call the wedding off?" asked Zarbon.

"If that is what you and Icey want, then do it, you can't let Freezer manipulate you like that, you're the only person that can get away with changing Freezer's mind." Apple said.

"You got a point." Zarbon said.

Meanwhile everyone was in the chapel in tuxedos and dresses, such as Freezer, Cooler, King Cold, Apple, Kiwi, Dodoria and Shasha. Liya was even there, breastfeeding her newborn daughter, with her husband. Zarbon then stomped down the aisle angrily, "Looking nice!" Shasha joked.

"Shut up Shasha!" Zarbon yelled.

"Where's your best man?" Freezer said smirking, while Dodoria and Shasha laughed.

"I don't need one!" Zarbon yelled.

Icey all the sudden came down the aisle and then she tripped, Freezer laughed "Freezer do I have to marry Zarbon?" she asked.

"Yes you do!" Freezer said.

Liya who was jealous as hell said under her breath, "Slut."

Her husband then turned to her, "What's the matter sweetheart?" he asked.

"Nothing Iram," Liya said.

The priest then said, "We are gathered here today to bear witness these two mismatched cretins, and apparent lovers and second cousins…" The priest continued while Freezer laughed his ass off at how humiliated Icey and Zarbon were.

Zarbon looked over at Icey who could not stop crying, Zarbon then decided to take matters into his own hand, "I concede!" he yelled.

"What do you mean you concede?" asked Freezer.

"He conceded that's funny, I wonder if it's a boy or a girl!" Dodoria said.

"He conceded which means to quit, not to be impregnated you idiot!" Shasha said.

"Oh that's conceive, my bad!" Dodoria said.

"I just can't do it anymore, I'm sorry I have to follow my own heart! Have a nice life Icey!" Zarbon said running out of the alter.

Freezer ran out of the alter too, "It was so funny while it lasted." Dodoria said.

"Yah I guess we won't be having kangaroo wedding after all." Shasha said looking at ground.

Outside Freezer found Zarbon under a tree frustrated, he walked up to him, "Zarbon I changed my mind you don't have to marry Icey, I was just kidding, I just wanted to humiliate her under pressure, wasn't that funny? We can all have a good laugh and just go on with our life!" Freezer said.

"Leave me alone, don't talk to me! You're a horrible father!" Zarbon then went straight to his room and did not talk to Freezer for a couple of weeks.

End of Story


	3. Chapter 3

_Up and Down the Emotional Roller Costar_

Zarbon being an heir to the throne, and a slave of Freezer's at the same time was hard enough for him, but when Freezer put him in military school, things started getting out of hand. It all started after Zarbon turned fifteen years old, he not only got taller with age, but also stronger and more muscular, not to mention hormonal. He did pretty well his first year, which was last year.

To make a long story short, he began his sophomore year at military school. Mostly Changelings and Primal Changelings got into the school, although primal changelings like him did suffer like all other minority species on Planet Freezer.

Well it happened the week after he began his new year of military school, he was looking at the board taking notes as usual, "God if I learn anything from this teacher it's that I need to drop out of this class and take a similar one with a new teacher." Zarbon thought to himself.

The teacher was of course a woman, she was another retired supreme commander of Freezer's, like General Corm, another teacher of Zarbon's. Her name was Mrs. Chapman; she was a changeling woman with nice looking tits, purple eyes, and the rarest, the blackest skin one would ever see. "Ok class you need to get out your textbooks and turn to page twenty-one!" she said in her thick English sounding accent.

"Oh god not another text reading I hate reading!" Zarbon thought to himself. He opened his book and started reading and then got finished before anyone else did, even though he didn't like to read novels, the only type of reading that he even did like was military strategies, maybe Freezer sending him to military school wasn't such a bad idea after all.

She looked at him, "Mr. Mustashi, may I please ask why you closed your textbook?" she asked.

"Because I'm finished reading." Zarbon said.

"Oh really, then I'll give you a little quiz, tell me what is the best way to take over an area of a planet, or to take over a planet?" she asked.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Uh you have to take it down from the inside." He said.

"How?" she asked.

"That's easy, you send some spies in to tell you what the government is doing and then listen to them to tell you when the right time to strike a weak area of a planet would be." Zarbon said smiling.

"Ok good then, tell me then who was the Mongol that took over China?" she asked.

"Uh Hannibal?" asked Zarbon.

She glared at him, "Reread your text Zarbon please and thank you." She said.

"Man!" he said.

After school, Zarbon went home to the palace and went to his room, Kiwi was waiting in there for him, "How was school Zarbon?" he asked.

"Uh I hate my new teacher for military history 102!" Zarbon said lying down on the bed.

"How come?" asked Kiwi.

"Because she made me answer two questions in the middle of class, just because I finished reading the chapters early, I mean I went over them last night too." Zarbon said.

"Don't pay any attention to her, maybe she's flirting with you." Kiwi said laughing.

"Very funny Kiwi, that's just not right." Zarbon said.

"By the way, I was handling the finances and it appeared that you spent at least two thousand dollars on military books." Kiwi said.

"No that's not right what are you talking about?" asked Zarbon.

"Zarbon I saw the bank statement, Freezer put me in charge of finances because I'm good with math, may I ask you what you were thinking?" asked Kiwi.

"I needed to study more, I hate the textbook that I got and I needed more to look from." Zarbon said.

"Oh so you need all of these?" asked Kiwi who took a package out and opened it up and there were at least ten military books in there, they looked like text books.

"No I didn't buy those did I?" asked Zarbon.

"No you bought them with Freezer's credit card, Freezer is going to be pissed off!" Kiwi said.

"I don't care, let him whip me if he must, I crave for military knowledge!" Zarbon said.

"I'm just a little worried about you, you don't need that many text books Zarbon." Kiwi said.

"Fuck what Freezer thinks, he can go to hell for all I care!" Zarbon, who was pissed off, broke his vanity mirror.

"Zarbon, Jesus are you all right?" asked Kiwi.

"No Kiwi I need to study so get the fuck out of my room!" Zarbon yelled.

"Yes Zarbon." Kiwi said looking at him funny as he was walking out of the room.

"Now where do I start, ok I'll start with military history that's the easiest subject!" Zarbon then went for the books, "Now which book on military history do I read? "Military History for Morons", "Military History the Fundamentals", or "Military History the Scoop" I wonder." he wondered.

He then started to giggle, "I'll read all three at the same time!" he said. Therefore, he opened up the books and started reading all of them at once. He skipped dinnertime, and he did not go to sleep all night, then it was six in the morning, "Oh my God what time is it?" he asked.

Apple came into the room, "Zarbon its time for school." Apple said.

"I don't want to go to school today; I didn't get any sleep last night." Zarbon said.

"You have to, Freezer will get pissed off if you miss school, come on I'll drive you." Apple said.

"Hold on just a minute, let me get my three books on military history together." Zarbon said getting the three books that he read all night ready.

In his military history 102 class, he was sleepy as hell, and then when the teacher came in, he stood up, "Mrs. Chapman I have an announcement to make!" Zarbon said.

"What Zarbon?" asked Mrs. Chapman.

"I think the book that we are using is completely outdated! So I went online and bought some new books!" Zarbon said.

Everyone laughed, "Zarbon can we talk about this after class?" asked Mrs. Chapman.

"No I have to show you the books now!" Zarbon said. He got his three textbooks out.

"Zarbon please sit down before I call your father!" she said.

"Freezer isn't my father, he's my adoptive father." Zarbon said.

"Whatever, just sit down please!" Mrs. Chapman said.

"Here is a book called "Military History for Morons!"" Zarbon said he then threw the book to the back of the room. He pulled another one out, "Here is another one called Military History the Fundamentals!" he again threw the book to the side of the room.

"Zarbon please sit down now!" she said.

"Wait you're going to like this one, here is a book called, Military History the Scoop!" he said.

"That's very thoughtful but you need to sit…." Zarbon then interrupted the teacher.

"You want to know which one I recommend for your class Mrs. Chapman?" asked Zarbon.

"Hard telling, what?" she asked not surprise at all.

Zarbon all the sudden got pissed off, "This one!" he then threw the book at the teacher.

Well next thing you know he was in detention after school, so the teacher looked at him with a bandage on her face, "Now will you tell me why you decided to throw a book at me?" Mrs. Chapman asked.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Chapman I didn't mean to, I didn't know what was going on; I usually don't act that savage!" Zarbon said.

"Well you have a lot of explaining to do!" Mrs. Chapman said.

"Where do I start? Ok this summer I had all sorts of funny feelings come on to me, usually I suffer from depression and I'm medicated for it, but I feel happy all the time, then I go from being happy to irritated. A couple of weeks ago, I ordered like ten text books about military strategy and history just so I could…" The teacher interrupted him.

"How much did you spend?" she asked.

"Not that it's any of your business but I spent about two thousand dollars for ten text books." Zarbon said.

"What? That's not normal, you shouldn't be spending your money that way at all, you didn't need to go out and buy that many text books, that's being reckless with your money!" she said.

"That's nothing, I bought like four shirts the other day, and three pairs of expensive sunglasses, and I bought three pairs of underwear, in one day!" he said getting exited again, talking too fast for the teacher to understand.

'I'm sorry what?" she asked.

"Never mind can I go home now?" asked Zarbon.

"Sure but keep in mind that you do have a spending problem." She said.

"Ok no problem," he said.

He walked out of the classroom, and Dasha stopped him, "Zarbon I saw what you did today and I thought it was pretty sexy that you threw the book at the teacher." She said.

"You did? I have an idea, let's go make out in the back shall we?" he asked excited, after all she was his ex girlfriend and now that he was feeling so super confident he thought he could seduce her.

"Yes let's," she said smiling.

They went out to the back and started making out, they weren't undressing or anything like that, just making out innocently like a couple of middle school kids. "I want you, when we make out it has to be perfect!" Zarbon said.

"But I'm just happy being with you…" Zarbon interrupted the poor girl by ripping her uniform shirt off.

"Now it's perfect," Zarbon then started kissing her neck.

"I want to ask you something. Will you do anything for me?" She said.

"Yes anything my love." He then kissed her on the neck.

"Good I would be glad if you were my baby's daddy." She said.

All the sudden Zarbon stopped kissing her, "What?" he asked.

"Yes I want a baby." She said.

"I don't know Freezer wouldn't like it." Zarbon said.

"Why not, you are fifteen aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes I am, but I'm not ready for that kind of life yet, I just want to be free until I'm ready to settle down you know what I mean, and we're not officially going out or married." Zarbon said.

"But you like kids, that's why Freezer makes you train the young warriors!" Dasha said.

"True, because I'm much better with kids then those assholes Dodoria or Shasha. That's probably why Freezer made me train them; Freezer said I'll be ready to choose a mate when he dies." Zarbon said.

Dasha rolled her eyes, "Let me know when you're ready to change your mind, here is my number." She wrote her number on a piece of paper and gave it to him, and she left without saying goodbye. He looked at her walking away, looked at the sheet of paper, and sighed.

Later that evening he was in the doctor's office, "So you are having uncontrollable mood swings which make you violent and happy at the same time." The doctor asked.

"Yes and I take medicine for depression too, which started when I was thirteen I think." Zarbon said.

"When did these mood swings start, how often do they occur?" asked the doctor.

"At least twice to three times a week, they started last year and they have gotten worst over the summer and now that I'm back in school I'm getting into fights with the teachers and then I get tired and then I get ecstatic to the point where I start laughing and throwing things then getting pissed off again…." Before Zarbon could finish the doctor interrupted him.

"Wait slow down, I can't catch up with you! How about excessive spending? Freezer tells me that you spent at least a million dollars on yourself last year, on what?" he asked.

"Oh cloths, beauty products, text books, food, my spending limit is usually eight hundred thousand, and recently I was up one night on the computer looking for textbooks on military strategy and military history, I think I bought too many books on both subjects." Zarbon said.

"Are you really that interested in military strategy and military history?" asked the doctor.

"Yes I am, but what I was really going for was looking for a new text book for the class, I mean the one we use is so outdated and so vague it's so hard to follow." Zarbon said.

The doctor looked at him, "Have you ever tried the library?" he asked.

"Freezer doesn't want me to go to the library without an escort, he thinks I need to be escorted around every twenty four hours, it's so annoying." Zarbon said.

"Is there anywhere that Freezer would let you go without an escort?" asked the doctor.

"Nope, and to make matters worst I've been spending money on concert tickets, on concerts that I have no interest in going to, but it's so fun to buy stuff off the internet you haven't an idea how good it feels to do that kind of stuff!" Zarbon said getting excited.

"How many concert tickets have you bought?" asked the doctor.

"Like five of them." Zarbon said.

"How much did they cost each?" asked the doctor.

"Uh like roughly around one thousand each." Zarbon said.

"Hum let me have a talk with Freezer and we'll see if we can get you on some medication." The doctor said, he walked out of the office and went over to Freezer.

"Doctor what is wrong with him? I want my heir-slave back!" Freezer said.

"The news isn't good I'm afraid, he's suffering from manic-depression." The doctor said.

"No that's silly it's a human disorder!" Freezer said.

"Yes but even humanoids like Zarbon are prone to mood disorders no matter how highly advanced his species are." The doctor said.

"What are we going to do?" asked Freezer.

"I'm going to get him on some really strong medicine, I'm going to take him off his depression medicine and put him on some medication which will help his chemical imbalance." The doctor said.

"Whatever you need to do you need to do it quickly doctor, I need him as a warrior, and I can't have him being mentally ill all the time!" Freezer said.

Later on Freezer gave Zarbon the medication, "What's this for?" asked Zarbon.

"The doctor wants you to get better Zarbon; you need to take your medication so it makes you feel better." Freezer said.

"But I like my old medicine better." Zarbon said.

"Look don't argue with me or else you're grounded!" Freezer said walking out of the room.

Zarbon later on went to his room, and he flushed the pills down the toilet, just as he used to do to steroids that Freezer gave to him. Kiwi came into the room, "Hey Zarbon are you ready to go to the concert with us?" asked Kiwi.

"Can I asked you something?" asked Zarbon.

"Anything my man," Kiwi said.

"What's it like to be a father?" asked Zarbon.

"Why are you asking that?" asked Kiwi.

"Because this girl that I like wants me to father her baby, nobody has ever asked me that question before, it's an honor but it scares the crap out of me!" Zarbon said giggling.

Kiwi's eyes grew wide, "What? Zarbon you are a better judge then that, you weren't raised to just go and have sex with anybody that you want to have sex with!" Kiwi said.

"But Kiwi she wants a baby, I would be happy to marry her and have lots of children with her, she is my own species after all." Zarbon said laughing excitedly.

"Zarbon I need to have a word with you mono to mono." Kiwi then sat down on the bed. Then the continued, "Just because a woman says that she wants you to father her baby doesn't mean that wants to be with you." Kiwi said.

"What are you saying Kiwi?" asked the young and naïve Zarbon.

"What I'm saying is that you don't want to be looking after a girl or a baby if she doesn't want to be with you!" Kiwi said.

"But weren't you in love once?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes I thought I was, and then she told me she was pregnant and she told me to fuck off!" Kiwi said.

"So what happened afterwards?" asked Zarbon.

"I fucked off for a while, then I came back and I helped her raise the kids, I had to tell Freezer that I had to put my career on hold just to raise a couple of kids. Then one day she turned violent, I guess because she was depressed and she murdered our two children and then took her own life. From that day on I haven't had the courage to ask another woman out or go near another woman, except for sexual purposes." Kiwi said.

"So are you saying that if she has my baby then she'll end up killing the baby and then herself?" asked Zarbon.

"No that's not what I'm saying Zarbon, I'm saying that you don't want that kind of responsibility with a woman who only wants a baby, because she isn't thinking about you or the fate of her child with you." Kiwi said.

"Wait how did she bore you two children?" asked Zarbon.

"They were twins, two boys who looked exactly alike." Kiwi said.

"But your species all look alike to me." Zarbon said.

"Go to that bitch and tell her that you won't impregnate her unless you're sure that she loves you!" Kiwi said.

"You're right I shall do that right now!" Zarbon then marched out of the room.

Kiwi just laid down on the bed and closed his eyes, "I can't wait until Freezer fires Shasha so that I can be his top henchman!" he then laughed in his mind. Little did he know that when Shasha was fatally out of commission that he would become one of Freezer's top henchmen.

Apple came into the room, "Have you seen Zarbon?" asked Apple.

"He left to tell his girlfriend that he didn't want children unless she loved him." Kiwi said.

"Kiwi Freezer said that Zarbon was supposed to be escorted anywhere else besides school until his medicine started working!" Apple said.

"What medicine?" asked Kiwi.

"Hello I told you earlier that Zarbon was diagnosed with manic-depressive disorder and that Freezer gave him new medication so that he didn't throw horrible mood swings!" Apple said.

"Where did this come up?" asked Kiwi.

Apple got mad and grabbed Kiwi by the neck and shook him, "Kiwi you're a fuckin retard! You never listen to me!" Apple said.

"Wow that's got to be the first time I've ever heard you cuss," Kiwi said.

"Please tell me that Zarbon took his medicine!" Apple said.

"He never told me that he was given new medication, and why didn't you tell me?" asked Kiwi.

"Because when I told you this earlier all you did was bitch and complain that Freezer chose Shasha over you to be one of his top henchmen!" Apple said.

"Well I should be!" Kiwi said.

"Kiwi where does he usually put his medicine?" asked Apple.

"He usually puts it in the medicine cabinet!" Kiwi said. They went into the bathroom to discover that not only was his old medicine in the cabinet but there was not any sign of the new one. "I don't see his new medication!" Apple said.

"Here it is!" Kiwi said taking a bottle out of the trashcan; he opened the bottle to see if there was any medication in there, "Uh it's empty!" Kiwi said.

"Oh my God its worst then I thought! He overdosed!" Apple said.

"Oh no don't be silly usually when Freezer gives him medicine to buff up he usually flushes the medication down the toilet, I guess he decided to take his old pills instead of his new ones and flush the new ones down the toilet!" Kiwi said.

"How do you figure?" asked Apple.

"Well he seemed kind of manic earlier talking about this girl from school that wanted to have a baby with him and he was giggling a lot." Kiwi said.

"So where is he now?" asked Apple.

"I told him to go to that bitch and tell her that if she didn't love him then he wasn't going to impregnate her!" Kiwi said.

"You idiot, do you have any concept about how naïve Zarbon is around girls?" asked Apple.

"It's not my fault, that's Freezer's fault." Kiwi said.

"We must go find him if he didn't take his new medicine and flushed it down the toilet, then think about how he can be led astray and end up in a manic mood and end up hurting someone without knowing it! Where does this girl live?" asked Apple.

"Relax I can drive us there!" Kiwi said.

"Let's go then before Freezer finds out!" Apple said grabbing Kiwi by the hand and leading him to the car.

Zarbon got to the house and rang the doorbell and a man answered the door, it was Dasha's dad, and he was much taller than Zarbon thought, he looked mad, "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Uh I'm looking for Dasha is she here?" asked Zarbon.

"Dad is that Zarbon?" asked Dasha.

"No it's someone else!" he said in his thick Russian accent.

"No it's him!" she then went to the front door, "Zarbon lets go upstairs like you promised!" she said.

"Don't do anything to my flower or else you'll die!" daddy yelled.

Zarbon gulped, "Yes sir." He said. They went upstairs and Dasha locked the door.

"So where do you want to do it?" she asked.

"No I came to tell you that I'm not going to father your child unless you want a relationship with me!" Zarbon said.

"Maybe I do want you to be my husband." She said.

"That's a maybe not a yes or a no, either you want me or not." Zarbon said.

"Well I want to start a family with you!" she said.

All the sudden a chemical imbalance started up in Zarbon's brain, "No I won't let you, you whore!" he then grabbed her radio and threw it at her; she jumped out of the way.

"Are you crackers?" she asked.

"Maybe but you're even more stupid then me! I can't stand idiots like you!" he then took a photo of her, threw it at her, and knocked her in the head and she fell down out cold.

"Dasha are you awake?" Zarbon asked, he went over to her and then held her in his arms and he thought she was dead, but she was not, "Oh no I killed her! I only woman I've ever loved other then Liya!" he then started crying.

"Is everything all right in here?" asked Dasha's mom with her proper sounding English accent, she knocked on the door.

"Everything is fine!" Zarbon yelled.

"I thought I heard some ruckus up here!" Dasha's mom said going down the stairs.

"Please wake up I don't want you to die!" Zarbon yelled.

Meanwhile Kiwi and Apple arrived at the house in time, they broke down the door and ran up the stairs, Dasha's parents were puzzled, "Isn't that illegal?" asked Dasha's mom.

Kiwi and Apple then broke down Dasha's door and saw Zarbon holding her in his arms and crying, "Zarbon what have you done?" asked Apple.

"I killed her, I'm a murderer!" Zarbon said crying.

"Oh crap what are we going to do?" asked Apple.

"We're going to take the body and bury it outside, I'll get a shovel!" Kiwi said.

"That's not the right thing to do!" Apple said angry at Kiwi's thickness.

All the sudden Dasha's parents ran upstairs and saw what Zarbon did, "What have you done?" asked Dasha's dad.

"It was an accident sir, if only Zarbon would have taken his medicine!" Kiwi said.

"You killed her?" asked her mom, she then started crying.

All the sudden there was another chemical imbalance in Zarbon's brain, he snapped off one of Dasha's bedposts, "You better run before I start chasing after you!" Zarbon then started chasing Dasha's parents around the house with the bedpost.

Hours later Zarbon found himself in an insane asylum, in front of a doctor, "Why did you try to kill Dasha?" asked the doctor.

"I don't know I can't explain why, usually I'm pretty laid back and shy person. Is she all right?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes she's alive if that's what you mean." The doctor said looking at a piece of paper.

Freezer ran into the room, "Zarbon there you are! Come on lets go home!" Freezer said.

"Wait he can't just go home!" the doctor said.

"Why not, he's the heir to the thrown and my best slave in the world!" Freezer said.

"Oh how sweet." Zarbon said giggling again.

"Kiwi, Apple how did he end up in here?" asked Freezer.

"Zarbon didn't take his medicine." Apple said.

"Sorry I think this is actually my fault, Zarbon there is a reason why I had the doctor put you on new medication." Freezer said.

"What do you mean I feel perfectly fine?" Zarbon said giggling again.

"No you're not, you're mentally ill actually." Freezer said.

"That's not a very nice thing to say!" Zarbon said giggling again.

"You have manic-depressive disorder." Freezer said.

"I don't understand!" Zarbon said laughing to the point where he fell to the floor laughing.

"It's not funny; you are at risk of being dethroned for another heir!" Freezer said.

"Well why didn't you tell me? You could have been more honest with me!" Zarbon said irritated.

"Zarbon you have to take your medicine so you don't have intense mood swings like you have been having last summer." Freezer said.

"Freezer I don't care if I become emperor or not, I just want to have friends like the ones here!" he then went over to Kiwi and Apple and hugged them, "I love you guys!" he said crying hard.

"Freezer get him on his medicine now!" Kiwi said.

"Money does talk." Freezer said handing a lot of money to the doctor.

Next day Zarbon had to stay home, Freezer did not want him walking around and going crazy on everyone, "Please Freezer I have to go to school, I didn't have a option and now all the sudden you're wanting me to stay home from school?" asked Zarbon.

"Sorry Zarbon but it's for your own good, at least until you get better!" Freezer said.

"But Freezer!" Zarbon said.

"No buts, I gave the teacher a note saying that you were being treated!" Freezer said.

"Can I at least get a glass of water?" asked Zarbon.

"No!" Freezer said.

"Oh bollocks!" Zarbon said.

End of story


	4. Chapter 4

_Plastic Is In_

There was a special party going on, it was Zarbon's sixteenth birthday, although he was still going through an awkward phase called puberty, he did the best he could to hide his acne, yes Primal Changelings do get acne, possibly because they have a human gene somewhere in them, making them more vulnerable to getting pimples.

Zarbon stared into the mirror looking as a zit that he got the night before, "Oh God I look so ugly! What would Freezer think?" he asked himself.

Kiwi was on the bed looking at a Playboy magazine with a hot alien on the cover, "Just don't pop it or anything, you'll spread more germs that way. Don't pick at it either, you'll get more pock scars then you need." Said Kiwi.

"Ew no way! I can't afford scars on my face!" said Zarbon putting come acne cream on his zit.

Kiwi put the Playboy magazine down, "Who exactly are you trying to impress, yourself or a girl?" asked Kiwi.

"Myself of course." Said Zarbon.

Kiwi shook his head, "That's what I wanted to hear! Because if you were trying to impress some girl, then Freezer would have a cow!" said Kiwi.

"But I'm not interested in a certain woman right now, I'm having a birthday party! I can't look horrible, people will laugh at me if I look horrible!" said Zarbon.

"Hell I'm ugly, and I don't care!" said Kiwi.

"I think you're missing the point Kiwi!" said Zarbon.

"What about using that facial cream to cover your zit up?" asked Kiwi.

All the sudden a light bulb went off in Zarbon's head, "That's a brilliant idea! Thank you Kiwi!" said Zarbon who got some of that mousse cream out that matched his skin tone and he put some on.

That night, the party happened, Freezer invited a lot of lords and ladies to the party, along with the concubines and male whores, Freezer was bi in case you haven't noticed. While Freezer was on the thrown with Cooler, King Cold was in bed. Kiwi and Apple were sitting at the table with Zarbon.

"God it sure is a great thing that you're sixteen! That's like totally awesome!" said Apple.

"I remember my sixteenth birthday, I spent it with my girlfriend and my children." Said Kiwi.

"Are you talking about the so-called family that your girlfriend murdered and committed suicide afterwards?" asked Apple.

"Well I've only had one girlfriend and one family in existence Apple." Said Kiwi.

"Oh so does that mean that you have an imaginary girlfriend too?" asked Apple laughing.

Kiwi waded up a napkin and tried to throw it at Apple, but it didn't get very far, it fell down in the middle of the table. Zarbon then sighed, "Guys please, not on my birthday." Said Zarbon.

"Come on Kiwi, Zarbon is right, this is supposed to be a special occasion for him, don't ruin it!" said Apple.

"I'll never be loved by a woman." Said Zarbon.

"What are you talking about, you've grown from a fat kid, to a very handsome young man!" said Kiwi.

"Yes that's true, but even if I'm vain, I'm really shy around women." Said Zarbon.

"It's ok I know how you feel, except the vain part." Said Apple.

Little did Zarbon and his misfit friends know that watching them were some high classed concubines for Freezer and Cooler. There were two changeling woman talking to one another and a primal changeling woman, they stared at Zarbon and his friends.

"Looks like I need another conquest besides Freezer." Said the pretty primal changeling woman with her turquoise skin, purple eyes and long thick blond hair.

"Oh Verochka, why don't you do it with Shasha again?" asked Antonya one of the changeling women who had white skin, purple lips and hair, and red eyes.

"No Shasha fucks me too roughly." Said Verochka fanning herself.

"Maybe Dodoria, he does it wonderfully!" said Alice the other changeling woman with brown skin, with some purple streaks on her skin, red eyes and of course black hair.

"No he's too ugly, uh and he smells funny too, I want the one with the short green hair and the turquoise skin over there by those two ugly whatever the hell they are." Said Verochka fanning herself intensely.

Alice looked at Zarbon, "Verochka, do you have any idea who that is?" asked Alice.

"No haven't a clue, I don't know why I haven't seen him around here before." Said Verochka.

"That's Freezer's heir to the empire Prince Zarbon!" said Antonya.

"Really? Maybe I can marry him for myself and rule the empire with him when Freezer dies, with the exception of course of having male boyfriends in the mix." Said Verochka smiling.

"Oh scandalous!" said Alice laughing.

"You're such a cougar!" said Antonya laughing.

"Enough of this brash talk, let's go over and introduce ourselves." Said Verochka.

So the whores were walking over to Zarbon and his misfit friends looking elegant as usual. Apple noticed that they were coming over, "Hey look there are a few beautiful women coming over to our table!" he yelled.

"Don't be ridicules, beautiful women don't like us," said Kiwi taking a sip of wine.

Zarbon looked up and saw them too, especially that gorgeous blond primal changeling, the same species as him, "I'm afraid he's not kidding." Said Zarbon.

"Maybe it's you they're after!" said Kiwi.

"Oh come on, three woman approaching me for my attention, that sounds too good to be true." Said Zarbon.

"Hello would you fine gentlemen care to join us for a waltz?" asked Verochka fanning herself intensely.

Kiwi looked at the primal changeling, oh my God he knew who she was, "Verochka! How are you?" he asked.

She looked at Kiwi all upset, "Do I know you?" she asked.

"Remember me, Kiwi, your fish friend?" he asked.

"No I've never seen you in my life!" said Verochka.

"That's ok I suppose you wouldn't mind if I asked one of your lovely friends to dance with me?" asked Kiwi.

"Go right ahead." Said Verochka.

Antonya giggled, "Sure I'll dance with you!" she took him by the hand.

Kiwi then burst into song, "It's a lovely night, a lovely night!"

Then Antonya got mad, "Please don't sing!" she said taking him to the dance floor.

Apple looked shyly at Alice, "Would you like to dance cutie?" she asked him.

He blushed, she was really pretty to him, almost as pretty as that blond primal changeling, "I would, please!" he then went onto the dance floor with her.

Zarbon then blushed when he looked at that older primal changeling lady, "So how do you know Freezer?" he asked.

"Why Freezer and I have been friends since childhood." She said.

"So that would mean that you're how old?" asked Zarbon.

"Only one hundred years old." She said.

"Wow you don't look at day over fifty that's for sure." Zarbon said.

Verochka laughed, "Thank you sweet young man, as you know probably unless Freezer hasn't told you, we can live to be at least three hundred years old." She said fanning herself intensely.

Zarbon then got concerned mistaking her flirting technique for a cry for help, "Are you burning up in here?" he asked.

"Oh I'm so hot, it's so hot in here, I could use a glass of water with cold ice in it!" she said panting.

"Coming right up!" said Zarbon running to get her a glass of water.

She smiled, "What a sucker!" she said to herself.

He came back with a glass of ice cold water, "Here you go!" he said offering it to her.

"Oh never mind I'm cold now," she said.

"Whatever, I could use one though." He then drank that damn glass up.

She was surprised at this naïve young man, hasn't he ever talked to girls before? What were his issues? She smiled, "Perhaps you would like to come to my room?" she asked.

"I can't leave I have guests," Zarbon said.

"Ok lets go behind the curtains, I want to show you something back there!" she said taking him by the hand.

"Verochka I don't know Freezer might get mad at me." Said Zarbon.

"Don't worry about a thing," she said pulling his pants down, Freezer used to do that to him when he was a little kid, and he used to give him blowjobs, this freaked Zarbon out and whole bunch of memories came back to him, the way Freezer badly treated him sexually abusing him as a child.

"Sorry I have to go!" he yelled.

"Go? But we haven't even got started!" she said.

"Sorry but I have to!" Zarbon yelled all the sudden he ran into the curtain and fell onto a table knocking stuff off.

Later on, Zarbon was in the nurse's office getting a bandage on his leg, the nurse looked at him oddly, "What happened to make you fall onto a table and bang your leg up?" she asked.

"Oh this really pretty girl tried to give me oral sex, but it reminded me too much of when Freezer used to give it to me when I was a child." Said Zarbon.

She looked at him funny, "Boy do I feel sorry for you!" she said.

"Don't worry about me I'll be fine." He said.

Apple came running in with Kiwi and their so-called new found loves, "Are you all right Zarbon, I saw the whole thing!" said Apple.

"Yes I'm all right!" said Zarbon.

"Ok how many fingers am I holding up?" asked Kiwi holding two fingers up.

Zarbon frowned, "Kiwi I'm not that injured." Said Zarbon.

"I hope you're all right," said Apple.

"Apple will I see you again?" asked Alice.

"Of course we can, it was nice meeting you." Said Apple.

"You too," said Alice who then kissed Apple on the cheek and left.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "So has anyone seen Verochka?" asked Zarbon.

Kiwi ignored him, "So Antonya, do you want to go do it in the back seat of my convertible?" asked Kiwi.

"You don't have a convertible Kiwi." Said Apple.

"Hey a guy can dream can't he?" asked Kiwi.

"No I have no interest in seeing you again, good bye heathen." With that Antonya walked away.

"She knows she likes me!" said Kiwi.

"She just said that she didn't want to see you again." Said Zarbon.

"Zarbon, Zarbon, you are so naïve when it comes to the opposite sex, she's playing hard to get!" said Kiwi.

"I don't think it looked like it, otherwise it would look like she was teasing you." Said Apple.

"How are you supposed to tell if someone is serious or not Apple?" asked Kiwi.

"Ok knock it off you two! Where is Verochka?" asked Zarbon.

"Yah about your new girlfriend Zarbon, she's kind of what we fish people call on the wrong end of the fence." Said Kiwi.

"I don't get it." said Zarbon.

"In other words she is only interested in sex," said Kiwi.

"How would you know?" asked Zarbon.

"Let's just say that I've been around the block a few times," said Kiwi.

"You mean you slept with her?" asked Zarbon.

"Duh, what did you think I meant, she even charged me more then she charged Freezer, she must be getting rich off this sex stuff." said Kiwi.

"That does it, if you ever talk negatively about her again, I'll knock you out cold you got it?" asked Zarbon.

"I didn't say you couldn't have her, Jesus Christ! But good luck, you'll need it." said Kiwi.

"Wait I thought that you said after your girlfriend killed your children with her and committed suicide that you didn't want to go near another woman!" said Apple.

"I didn't say I wasn't uninterested in sex did I?" asked Kiwi.

"Ok this conversation is over! Its grossing me out, I'm going to go find Verochka!" said Zarbon walking out of the clinic.

"Wow someone is moody!" said Kiwi, while Apple just shrugged his shoulders.

Verochka meanwhile was sitting out in the garden sniffing some flowers, she then threw them into the pond, it was the first place that Zarbon looked, probably following her sent, "May I sit down next to you?" asked Zarbon.

"I don't see a sign that says you can't." said Verochka.

Zarbon sat down next to her, "I'm sorry about freaking out, it's just that no girl has ever given me oral sex let alone done it with me."

"Wait are you trying to tell me that you're a virgin?" asked Verochka.

"Not exactly, I lost my virginity when I was about four, or was it five, I can't remember." Said Zarbon.

"What? Weren't you a little too young to be having sex?" asked Verochka.

"No you don't understand, Freezer is a peta file and he raped me and other various children." Said Zarbon.

"Uh I don't see what you're complaining about." Said Verochka.

"Is it true that you've had sex with Freezer before?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes he did it with me when I was a young girl, and I think I got pregnant by him once, and he asked me to get an abortion." Said Verochka.

"What, but Freezer is against abortion and he's infertile." Said Zarbon.

"He just says that to gain sympathy." Said Verochka.

"I get the weirdest feeling that you like me, is that true?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes of course it's true, let's make out!" said Verochka.

"Well as long as we don't make love then I'm ok with just making out!" said Zarbon, but to shut him up she grabbed him and kissed him on the lips.

Later on the next day, Zarbon was all happy in the morning, he went to Freezer's bedroom, "Good morning Lord Freezer!" said Zarbon.

"Good morning Zarbon, it's been a long time since you've come in to say good morning!" said Freezer.

"Freezer don't get mad at me, but I met the most amazing girl in the world and…." Before Zarbon could finish, Freezer interrupted him. 

"Didn't I tell you that women were off limits until the day I die?" asked Freezer.

"Yah but you might not die that soon." Said Zarbon.

"Well as long as you didn't have sex with her, then I'm all right," said Freezer drinking coffee.

"Well we did make out though, last night in the garden!" said Zarbon giggling.

"Who is she?" asked Freezer.

"Well about that, she used to date you I think." Said Zarbon.

"What's her name, on with it boy!" said Freezer.

"Verochka." Said Zarbon.

Freezer spit his coffee out, "You mean that pathological liar that I vanished from my court room and gave her to Cooler instead? You must me joking!" said Freezer.

"Ha you're just jealous that I found true love and you didn't!" said Zarbon sticking his tongue out at Freezer.

"Put your tongue in or I'll cut it off!" said Freezer.

Zarbon put his tongue back into his mouth. "She is not my ex girlfriend, she's my ex concubine!" said Freezer.

"No she can't be a concubine, she's too beautiful to be one." Said Zarbon.

"Boy you're naïve more so then I thought," said Freezer.

"I think she used to date Kiwi too." Said Zarbon.

"She didn't date him, she had sex with him for money! I know so because I heard rumors about it and I vanished her to Cooler's court!" said Freezer.

"You're wrong about her! She's nice and beautiful!" said Zarbon.

"Zarbon stay away from her, don't waste your money on her!" said Freezer.

"I don't associate with whores Freezer, I'll only have sex with a female if I want to mate with her and start a family! By the way I heard that you told her to get an abortion after you impregnated her!" said Zarbon.

"What I did no such thing! I'm infertile you know that, that's why I adopted you, so that I could have a son of my own and have an heir to the throne, and a personal slave too." Said Freezer.

"You're wrong about her, she's not a whore!" said Zarbon.

Then Zarbon started singing Green Sleeves beautifully as he walked out of the room, "Alas, my love, you do me wrong. To cast me off discourteously. For I have loved you well and long. Delighting in your company. Greensleeves was all my joy. Greensleeves was my delight. Greensleeves was my heart of gold. And who but my lady greensleeves!"

Freezer shook his head, "What a ditz!" he said.

Meanwhile Apple was looking everywhere for Alice, "Alice, Alice!" yelled Apple.

"Here I am!" she said running towards him.

"Hello, I missed you!" he said.

"I've only not seen you for a day, and I miss you too!" she said.

"Oh Alice please tell me that you love me!" said Apple.

"Yes I do, but we just met, shouldn't we get to know each other?" said Alice.

"Hey Apple get away from her!" yelled Kiwi.

"Kiwi what are you doing here, can't you see I'm talking to my girlfriend!" said Apple.

"What, it's impossible, you're too ugly to have a girlfriend!" said Kiwi.

"Well at least I have more of a personality then you!" said Apple.

"Sorry to say this, but your girlfriend is a prostitute!" said Kiwi.

"No she isn't, tell him Alice!" said Apple.

"It's true I am a prostitute, I've slept with many men in Freezer's court." Said Alice with a sad look on her face.

"No its not true!" yelled Apple.

"Yes it is, Kiwi I'm afraid is not kidding!" all the sudden Antonya appeared out of nowhere.

"Well, well looks whose here, if it isn't my ex girlfriend Antonya!" said Kiwi.

"I don't like you fish head, get lost! I only wanted to sleep with you!" said Antonya.

"Yes that's true, but you like me!" said Kiwi.

"Oh did you just want to sleep with me too Alice?" asked Apple.

"No it was much more then that!" said Alice.

"Ew gross, come on Alice let's get away from these peasants!" said Antonya.

"Hey I'm not a peasant!" said Kiwi.

"I grew up in the projects, but I'm not a peasant either!" said Apple.

"Come on Alice, we have to go!" Antonya took her by the hand and led her down the hall.

"Apple!" yelled Alice.

"Alice!" yelled Apple.

"Trust me it's a good thing that she's gone." Said Kiwi, while poor Apple started crying.

Meanwhile Zarbon went looking for Verochka and he came across Shasha.

"Shasha get out of my way!" yelled Zarbon.

Shasha smirked, "You get out of my way little primal changeling." Said Shasha in his thick, deep Russian accent.

"Look have you seen Verochka?" asked Zarbon.

"I haven't talked to that bitch in over year now!" said Shasha.

"Never mind you're useless!" said Zarbon trying to walk away, but Shasha got into his way.

"You would be wise to stay the fuck away from me!" said Shasha, he then pushed Zarbon out of the way and walked away.

"God I hate him." Said Zarbon to himself. All the sudden bumped into Verochka.

"I was just looking for you!" said Zarbon.

"Come with me! I have something I would love to talk about with you!" she said.

She took him into her room, she took her hair out and let it all down, wow that looked great to Zarbon, "You know Zarbon you would be a perfect mate for me…." Said Verochka.

"Yes I knew it, you do love me!" said Zarbon.

"However, there is one small thing that I require of you." She said.

"Anything." Said Zarbon.

"I want you to change your nose," she said.

Zarbon then went from smiling to gasping, "You mean plastic surgery?" asked Zarbon.

"What did you think I meant?" asked Verochka.

"Hold on just a minute!" said Zarbon, he went running to find Kiwi.

Kiwi was walking down the hallway on his way to do a mission, "Kiwi I need to talk to you!" said Zarbon.

"What is it? I have to do a mission, Freezer said so." Said Kiwi.

"Verochka said she would be my mate if I get plastic surgery!" said Zarbon.

"Don't do it!" said Kiwi.

"Why not?" asked Zarbon.

"Look its just pillow talk!" said Kiwi.

"Pillow talk?" asked Zarbon.

"In other words she's just telling you this stuff so that she can sleep with you, after you get that plastic surgery she'll fuck you and dump you!" said Kiwi.

"No you're wrong, she's nothing like that!" said Zarbon running down the hallway.

"I tried to warn him." Said Kiwi tisking.

Zarbon went back to Verochka's room, he tried to open the door but it was locked, "That's funny!" said Zarbon.

All the sudden the thought he heard a voice, which said, "So you want me to give you the dirty Sanchez or do you want me to do it dogy style?" it was Cooler's voice!

"No it's not true!" said Zarbon, then the broke the door down and Verochka screamed and covered her naked body up under the covers whereas this was possibly the first time that Zarbon had ever seen Cooler naked!

"What is the meaning of this?" asked Cooler looking at Zarbon.

"I'll just leave!" said Zarbon as he left not wanting to cause a scene.

That morning Zarbon drank at least three cups of coffee, he was sitting with Kiwi and Apple, "Wow I'm sorry that you had to find out that way that she was a dirty, no good whore." Said Kiwi.

"I'm sorry I threatened to knock your block off." Said Zarbon.

"It's all right, I get threatened by Freezer all the time, but for some reason he just don't have the guts to kill me. I guess it's because I intimidate him!" said Kiwi.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Hey Apple how come you haven't talked all morning?" asked Zarbon.

"Because Alice is a hooker too!" he said crying and blowing his nose.

"Well at least I'm glad I didn't get a nose job, I'm too perfect looking for that." Said Zarbon drinking another cup of coffee.

"Dude that has been the fourth cup of coffee that you have had today." Said Kiwi.

"Trust me, I stayed up all night, I couldn't sleep." Said Zarbon.

All the sudden they noticed Cooler, Verochka and Antonyah walk by, Verochka and Antonyah smiled and then stuck their noses up in the air and walked by holding onto Cooler's arms. Zarbon got mad and slammed his coffee cup onto the table. "Don't worry Zarbon, she'll dump him in a couple of months!" said Kiwi.

"Not the way I see it." Said Zarbon.

"Yes I truly knows that Antonyah will." Said Kiwi closing his eyes and putting his arms behind his head.

"He's so delusional said Apple all depressed.

All the sudden she walked up to the table, it was Alice, "Apple hello." She said.

"Oh no its her!" said Kiwi.

"Hello Alice, what's happening?" asked Apple.

"Look I have to eat breakfast with Cooler, I wish I could eat breakfast with you, maybe we can meet sometime tonight if that's all right with you." Said Alice.

"Yes that would be great!"said Apple.

She then kissed him on the lips, Zarbon smiled and Kiwi got mad, "I'll see you later then." She said waving her handkerchief at Apple.

"Looks like someone has a girlfriend!" said Zarbon.

"Oh I don't know about that…" said Apple blushing.

Kiwi then looked angry at Apple.

End of Story


	5. Chapter 5

_Zarbon Goes to Charm School, part 1_

Sixteen year old Zarbon was watching TV about the Vietnam War, it was showing an image on TV of a monk setting himself on fire, Zarbon then turned the TV off, Kiwi came into the room, "Hey Zarbon guess what?" he said.

"What Kiwi?" he asked.

"You know that party we weren't invited to?" he asked.

"Which one the ball? The masquerade, Freezer won't let me go to the masquerade party until I'm twenty-one." Zarbon said.

Kiwi immediately changed the subject, "You know that one concubine of Freezer's that blew me off?" asked Kiwi.

"Yes what about her?" asked Zarbon.

"I want to get revenge on her!" Kiwi said.

"For blowing you off?" Zarbon asked.

"No it's a little more complicated than that. Just the other day I went into the cafeteria and she sent one of her friends over to give me a note to meet her in the garden at noon. Then when I got there I saw her making out with Dodoria and then she yelled, "Got yah!"" Kiwi said.

"That's horrible." Zarbon said.

"That's not the worst of it, she made Shasha take a picture of the look on my face and he made numerous copies and posted them all over the palace!" Kiwi said.

"Surely the look on your face wasn't so horrible." Zarbon said.

"Oh yes it was that bad." Kiwi said holding up a copy of the photo with the silliest surprise look on his face. Zarbon could not help but laugh.

"So what do I have to do with this?" asked Zarbon.

"You are going to help me get revenge! I helped you all those times whenever you wanted to get away from the palace and have a fun time like any normal teenager." Kiwi said.

"True that, but how in the world are we supposed to get revenge?" asked Zarbon.

"I don't know that's the problem, I came to you because you're a great military strategic and conspirator." Kiwi said sitting on the bed.

"But Kiwi I'm still in military school, you're the conspirator." Zarbon said.

"Yes but you're on summer break though." Kiwi said.

"True that, oh wait I have an idea, I was just watching the Vietnam War live on TV!" Zarbon said.

"So what?" Kiwi said.

"So we could use some firecrackers to get back at that bitch for doing that to you!" Zarbon said.

"Yes and all of her little friends!" Kiwi said.

"Not Alice, let's leave her alone, she's Apple's girlfriend." Zarbon said.

"Alice is the one who gave me the note you naïve prince!" Kiwi said.

"She did, that's terrible!" Zarbon said.

"Let's get those fireworks!" Kiwi said.

Later on Zarbon and Kiwi got those fireworks and snuck out into the huge garden where Freezer's prostitutes usually liked to talk on a nice day.

Verochka was a primal changeling like Zarbon, and she used to tease Zarbon and still did for that matter, but she was one of Cooler's top concubines. Antonya, a changeling like Freezer, was the one who was responsible for this whole mess.

Alice on the other hand was another changeling like Freezer, but she was kindhearted and did not want to be a concubine, but she did not have any choice in the matter. Apple was her only friend, perhaps her great love. "Guys I feel kind of awful for helping humiliate Kiwi," Alice said fanning herself.

"Don't feel badly, you did great." Antonya said chuckling.

"Yes and Zarbon is the next one that we'll target to humiliate." Verochka said still thinking that Zarbon had something for her.

Zarbon and Kiwi were hiding in the bushes, Zarbon was pissed off to hear this, "They should be in prison for saying something like that!" Zarbon said in a big whisper.

"Shut up you'll ruin the plan. Are you ready to light the firecrackers?" asked Kiwi.

"I suppose so, but why don't you do it?" asked Zarbon.

"Because I'm scared that I'm going to get blown up," Kiwi said.

"Come on this isn't the greatest plan; we can plan other ways to get back at them." Zarbon said.

"Give me those!" Kiwi said lighting the firecrackers and throwing them out right next to the concubines. "Come on let's get out of here!" Kiwi said grabbing Zarbon by the hand and leading him away.

They heard the firecrackers go off in the background and screams, they laughed their heads off when all the sudden Dodoria and Shasha came up to them, now Shasha the guy that took Kiwi's picture, was actually Zarbon's primal changeling trainer who taught him to transform and all of that, he was a ruthless, scared faced Russian accented person.

"Looks like we have trouble makers," Shasha said with his thick Russian, scratchy and voice, he then grabbed Zarbon before he had the chance to run away.

"Kiwi help me!" Zarbon said.

"Sorry I'll be going now!" Kiwi said running off fast.

"Come back here!" Dodoria said running after Kiwi.

"We'll see what Freezer has to say about this!" Shasha said.

Shasha took Zarbon to Freezer's office, Freezer did not look pleased with Zarbon, "But sir it was Kiwi's idea!" Zarbon said.

"You could have chosen to ignore him!" Freezer said.

"But he would have helped me in that situation too." Zarbon said.

"Yes that's why he abandoned you when Shasha grabbed you, like the coward he is." Freezer said laughing.

"I caught the other accomplice." Dodoria said bringing Kiwi into the room and throwing him down, Dodoria beat Kiwi up pretty badly.

"Kiwi is it true that it was your idea?" asked Freezer.

"Yah so what if it was, they had it coming!" Kiwi said coughing.

"Thanks to you, Antonya had to have stitches, Verochka almost had to have her foot amputated, and poor Alice, sweet girl, she's lucky that she ran away when she had the chance!" Freezer said.

"Thank God for that, Apple would never talk to me again if something were to happen to Alice." Zarbon said, and then he covered his mouth, he said too much.

"What does Apple have to do with Alice?" asked Freezer, who did not know that Alice and Apple were secretly dating.

"She's a dear friend to him and if anything were to happen to her he would have a cow." Zarbon said.

"Now for your punishment, Kiwi you are suspended for a month, therefore I'm going to exile you from the palace for a month, so you're going to have a rent an apartment, which will come out of your own bank account." Freezer said.

"Damn it!" Kiwi said.

"Isn't that a little harsh Freezer?" asked Zarbon.

"Don't make me send him to the chopping block!" Freezer said.

"Right," Zarbon said.

"As for your punishment Zarbon, for conspiracy and goody tushooness on a regular basis, I will send you to charm school for an entire summer so that you can learn to respect your peers and not act out against them in a vengeful way!" Freezer said.

"Damn it!" Zarbon said.

"I'm sending you to the "Auntie May School of Charm for Young Folks."" Freezer said.

"But sir that school is for girls, only the smartest snobbiest people go there!" Zarbon said.

"Not all girls go there, there are actually guys that go there too." Freezer said.

"It doesn't matter, that place has a bad reputation for making people snobby to the point of vanity!" Zarbon said.

"You need some high self esteem anyways!" Freezer said.

Just as Freezer ordered, Zarbon had to pack his bags and go to that damn charm school, owned by Auntie May, better known as Freezer's snobby aunt; she was the younger sister of King Cold and had a reputation of getting pissed off when someone made her in a way that did not suit her.

Zarbon found himself sitting on a chair surrounded by girls, just as he predicted, most of them were concubine trainees while others were from well off families or were of royal blood.

Most of them were of course Changelings like Freezer, second most species were Zarbon's species the primal changelings, in fact there was only one person that wasn't either one, that was Liya, Zarbon's ex who married someone else and had a daughter by him a couple of years ago. She was about the same age as he was and they went out with one another during childhood.

Hopefully she would not notice him, then matters turned for the worst when he saw Icey, Auntie May's thirteen-year-old daughter, who Freezer tried to marry Zarbon off to as a joke for his own amusement. Icey also had a case of Tourrests, which did not help matters.

Then Zarbon saw Dashanya or Dasha for short. He met her in military school when they were fourteen years old. She went out with him and she even wanted a baby with him, but he was going through some emotional issues still trying to get over Liya, still depressed about being an outcast in a family full of changelings and all that jazz. He then had a horrible mood swing when he purposely did not take his medicine and he knocked her out.

He had wronged all those girls in one way or another unintentionally; Zarbon just hoped that they did not notice him for the longest time; however, they would eventually notice him.

All the sudden Auntie May stepped out in front of Zarbon and all the girls and walked up to them, "Hello girls, I'm Freezer's Aunt May, I have owned this school for almost four hundred years! You are all here because you are the dirtiest, most stupid and most horrible creatures to walk the face of planet Freezer!" she yelled.

"That's not a very nice thing to say," Zarbon thought.

"Therefore I'm going to change you from ugly ducklings to young beauties! From rude peasants to charming swashbucklers! From Jan Brady to Marsha Brady!" Aunt May went on.

Zarbon was getting board already, Auntie May was rambling on about what she would transform everyone into, "What a waste of time." He thought.

All the sudden when Auntie May finished, she looked at Zarbon, "Oh I see we have a young male in our mists ladies!" She said pointing her horsewhip towards Zarbon.

"Hello Great Auntie May." Zarbon said smiling a rather cheesy smile.

"I knew Freezer would come to his senses, you have been nothing but trouble since the day he adopted you!" Auntie May said.

"What do you mean I'm trouble?" asked Zarbon.

"You stick your nose into everyone's business, you bicker about the atrocities that Freezer causes and you whine about transforming!" Auntie May said crashing her whip onto the floor so everyone jumped.

"How does that make me a horrible person?" asked Zarbon.

"Silence cretin!" She then went up to him and whipped his hand.

"Ouch what did you do that for?" asked Zarbon.

"Don't make me box your ears little girl!" She yelled.

"But Great Auntie May, you know very well that I'm not a girl." Zarbon said, she smacked him on the hands once again with her whip, "Stop it!' he said.

"Now moving on, I have set up dormitories for each girl to stay in, there are twelve of you so four girls per room! I am now going to put a list on the wall of whom you get to room with, that is all!" she then went over to the door and posted the list and walked out of the room. All the girls then went over to door see with whom they would be rooming.

Zarbon didn't want to be noticed, so he waited, which didn't last long, Liya all the sudden walked up to him, "Liya what are you doing here?" he asked.

"My husband said that I'm outspoken and that I need to come here to learn some manners, besides the list said that I'm rooming with you." Liya said.

Icey walked over to Zarbon, "Zarbon is this some kind of joke?" she asked.

"What are you talking about Icey?" asked Zarbon.

"You are rooming with me!" She said.

"You too?" asked Zarbon surprised.

Dasha came over too, "This is some kind of trick for you to win me back isn't it?" asked Dasha.

"Let me guess you are rooming with us too?" asked Zarbon.

"Sadly yes," Dasha said.

"Icey do I have to ask why you're here?" asked Zarbon.

"Because mum said that I have to learn to keep my mouth shut when I'm supposed to." She said.

"But you have Tourette you can't help that." Zarbon said.

"That didn't stop her from sending me to her charm school." She said.

"I'm surprised to see you here too Dasha." Zarbon said.

"Yes me too, but my parents sent me to keep me out of trouble." Dasha said.

"Trouble?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes since you wouldn't impregnate me, I fucked another primal changeling, he got me pregnant and I had to have three abortions." She said.

"Good lord you know that abortion is illegal right?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes but that didn't stop my parents from forcing me to get them." Dasha said.

"You tried to impregnate someone, that's so below you!" Icey said crossing her arms.

"No she was the one that wanted a baby; I only wanted to be with her like normal teenagers do." Zarbon said.

"Let me tell you something about normal teenagers, normal teenagers go out and have sex behind their parent's back, normal teenagers drink beer like they're supposed to, and normal teenagers get pregnant so they can be loved!" Dasha said.

"This couldn't get any worse." Zarbon said.

Zarbon was wrong about that, there was a welcome dinner and Zarbon was assigned to sit with those three girls, it was so awkward and he didn't know what to say, "So how has everyone's day been?" asked Zarbon wanting to break the ice.

"All right I suppose." Liya said looking down.

"Uh it's been utterly crappy!" Icey said.

"Don't ask," Dasha said.

"Well this isn't a very nice dinner conversation; I say we talk about politics!" Zarbon said.

"Oh please no, politics give me a headache, besides its not ladylike." Icey said.

"How about sports?" asked Zarbon.

"I hate sports!" Liya said.

"But Liya you're a ballerina." Zarbon said.

"Dancing is considered a form of art, not a sport." Liya said.

"Will somebody please say something?" asked Zarbon.

"I'll say something, how come you don't want to be my baby's daddy?" asked Dasha.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "Dasha, you only wanted a baby with me, you weren't looking for a relationship at all, and now that I'm older and wiser I realize that." Zarbon said.

"What do you mean older and wiser? You're only sixteen." Icey said.

"Yes but I'm told that I'm mature for my age." Zarbon said.

"Oh bloody Hell! Could someone give me a glass of wine, I'm so fricken depressed!" Liya said.

"I'm not allowed to drink, my mum said so." Icey said.

"Nothing personal but your mum is mean." Zarbon said.

"She's not mean; she's just strict is all!" Icey said.

"She seems to be a very negative person that's for sure." Dasha said.

All the sudden, Auntie May came out into the dining room dressed up elegantly and went up to the podium, "All right girls, and Zarbon, I would like each of you to come up and tell me a reason why you are here and what you hope to learn from me?" asked Auntie May.

All the girls pretty much told their reasons, except for Zarbon and his group, they were up next Liya went up to the podium, "Well my husband doesn't like it when I speak my mind, he's quite controlling if you must know the truth." Liya said.

"Sit down Liya, you disappoint me!" yelled Auntie May.

Liya frowned and went back to her seat, "Stupid woman." She thought to herself.

Icey went up next, "My mum thought that I needed to make new friends and learn to act like a dignified young lady…" Auntie May interrupted Icey.

"That's young woman Icey, what are you a sexist?" asked Auntie May.

"I'm sorry mum, I don't comprehend," Icey said sweating.

"The word lady is sexist according to the manner book!" Auntie May said.

"What manner book mum?" asked Icey.

"Sit down before I send you to special Ed!" Auntie May said.

"Oh dear not that!" Icey said running to her seat.

Dasha went up to the podium, "My name is Dasha and I am here because I was causing trouble for my parents." She said.

"What kind of trouble?" asked Auntie May.

"Why do I have to tell you?" asked Dasha.

"Say so or else I'll box your ears!" Auntie May yelled cracking her horsewhip.

"Yes headmisteress, I got pregnant a few times and had a lot of miscarriages, there is that specific enough for you?" asked Dasha.

"Oh a little slut are you, sit down!" Auntie May said cracking her whip, Dasha was in tears when she went back to her seat, Zarbon almost felt sorry for her.

Zarbon went up to the podium next, "Hello my name is Zarbon, and as some of you already know I am the heir to Freezer's empire, he is my adopted father and I am also a slave and…" Auntie May interrupted.

"Stop stammering and tell us why you are here!" she yelled.

"Oh all right, Jesus! I was causing trouble for Freezer and he thought I could use some schooling in manners." Zarbon said.

"No that's not what I mean, be more specific!" Auntie May said.

"I watched too much television, ate too many sweets when I was younger, I was considerably lazy as a young child and…" Auntie May interrupted again.

"No I mean why were you sent here?" asked Auntie May.

"There isn't a specific reason all right!" Zarbon got so mad that he picked up the podium and threw it across the room.

Zarbon ended up in the office of the headmaster of the school, that being Auntie May of course, "So would you like to tell me why you threw that expensive podium across the room?" asked Auntie May.

"Let's see sometimes I have horrible mood swings, I go from being manic to being very depressed, but sometimes when I'm manic I get pissed off and try to hurt people." Zarbon said.

"Shall we tell Freezer that you're not taking your medicine like you should be?" asked Auntie May.

"I'd rather not if that's all right." Zarbon said.

"Go to your dormitory and stay there until the first break of light!"

Zarbon went to his dormitory and slammed the door shut, "What's the matter Zarbon?" asked Icey.

"We need to go out and have fun!" Zarbon said.

"But Zarbon this is your first day we can't just skip out on activities of charm school, it's very important if we want to be considered ladies." Icey said.

"I'm not a lady, I'm a man!" Zarbon said.

"Please you're only sixteen, you're only biologically a man, and you still have some immaturity about you." Liya said.

"Ok fine, here's the deal, unless you're having fun with this charm school then come to me when you're ready to have some real fun!" Zarbon said.

Next day, the girls had to learn to walk right, Zarbon of course made up the excuse that he was sick so he did not have to walk like a sissy, "Stand up straight and walk like you're at the top of the world." Auntie May said to Icey. Icey stood up straight, "Your tail is on the floor, we don't drag our tails on the floor!" Auntie May said.

"But mum, I don't use it very much; I get the feeling that evolution didn't give us much of a reason to have a tail…" Auntie May then interrupted.

"Don't drag your tail on the floor, plain and simple! Start walking like a lady!" Auntie May said.

Icey then started walking trying to keep her tail from dragging onto the ground then she farted by mistake, she then blushed, "What was that?" asked Auntie May.

"Uh my tail accidently fell to the floor mum." Icey said.

Later on in the evening, they had to set the table right, although Liya mastered the walking across the room right, she was having trouble distinguishing from the forks, "Excuse me Auntie May, which fork is the salad fork and which fork is the stake fork?" she asked.

"Are you stupid cretin?" She then whipped Liya with her horsewhip.

"Ouch that wasn't a nice thing to do!" Liya said getting pissed off at Auntie May.

"If you set your silverware right then maybe I wouldn't have to do that now would I?" Auntie May said.

Then there was that speech class, Dasha was having so-called trouble with that, "I am happy to see you Mr. Mastoffelees'." She said.

"That's Mr. Mistoffelees dumbass, there are no A's in the word, why would you pronounce it like an A?" asked Auntie May.

"Sorry it sounded like you were saying Mastoffelees." Dasha said.

"It's Mr. Mistoffelees, get it right you deaf dumb person!" Auntie May said.

Zarbon took a class on topics, "I'm going to show you some flashcards and you read them aloud to me ok?" asked Auntie May.

"Yes Auntie May." Zarbon said.

"First card," Auntie May said showing him an index card with a sentence on it.

"Did you hear that in Congo they're shooting political prisoners…?" All the sudden Auntie May interrupted.

"No, next card!" She said.

"But I didn't even finish the last one." Zarbon said, as she switched the index card to another index card with a different sentence. "Did you hear that Mao Zedong is killing a lot of innocent people because he wants to take over Tibet…?" Zarbon read on the card.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Auntie May said.

"What is the meaning of this, I did exactly what you asked me to, now why do you keep on interrupting me whenever I read the card?" asked Zarbon.

"You'll find out soon enough! Next card!" she said showing him a different index card.

"I know a great hairstylelist that you can go to, to help you out with that hair style." Zarbon said.

"Very good," She said switching the cards.

"Are you familiar with the word education?" asked Zarbon.

"Very good," Auntie May switched some more cards.

"The government is doing a horrible job of providing support for our poor people…" Auntie May interrupted.

"No cretin!" she yelled.

"What did I do?" Zarbon yelled.

Over the next months Zarbon was getting much better at this charm stuff and so were his friends, then they graduated and Zarbon was allowed to come back early, since he graduated early. Something changed about him though, he looked better looking, he started brushing his hair more, it is as if he transformed from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan.

There was an issue with that, he started growing his hair longer and he rather walked like a girl. The low-level solders including Dodoria and Shasha were making fun of Zarbon behind his back. Then there was the issue of Zarbon going up and saying hello to people, he was just naturally friendly and naïve and the low level solders mistaken Zarbon's kindness for hitting on them.

Freezer allowed Kiwi to come back, but he was worried about what that charm school had done to his friend. "Zarbon can I ask you something?" asked Kiwi.

"Yes what is it?" asked Zarbon.

"Are you developing a preference for the male sex only?" asked Kiwi.

"No why?" asked Zarbon.

"Because, well I don't want to sound like a cruel sadist, but a lot of the solders have been laughing at you behind your back, they're also afraid that you're going to hit on them." Kiwi said.

"That's the silliest thing I've ever heard! Oh so because I'm more educated than them makes me a gay person! I'm still bi, if anything I think I'm even more focused on trying to get girls to talk to me, now that I've been to charm school." Zarbon said.

"I hate to say this, but no girl wants to go out with a sissy!" Kiwi said.

"How would you know anything about being a royal prince?" asked Zarbon.

"Mister I don't like your attitude, this place that you went to has really turned you into a sissy snob!" Kiwi said.

"Just get out ok?" asked Zarbon pushing Kiwi.

"You are turning from a kind person into the biggest jerk in the world!" Kiwi said walking out of Zarbon's room.

Later on Zarbon sat down with Apple and Alice at lunchtime, "How did charm school go?" asked Apple.

"It was horrible at first, but I think it turned me into a gentleman and not like the savage that I used to be." Zarbon said.

"What do you mean used to be? You never were a savage, what gives you the idea that you ever were one to begin with?" asked Apple.

"Savages or peasants speak their minds, talk politics to one another and they look like they buy their cloths from G-Mart." Zarbon said.

"Well I guess I'm not elegant enough for you then." Apple said taking his lunch and walking out of the cafeteria.

"What did I do?" asked Zarbon.

"Apple can't afford nice cloths like you can, he even has to buy his cloths from G-Mart." Alice said.

"I thought Freezer provided him nice cloths." Zarbon said.

"No not really, he does have a formal uniform in case he's invited to a party, but other than that he doesn't get nice cloths like you do, he's not royalty." Alice said.

"Maybe I should convince Freezer to give him nice cloths, or he could borrow mine if he would like." Zarbon said.

"I appreciate your offer, but this conversation is over." Alice then walked off.

Poor Zarbon was clueless about how he was hurting his friends, so he went over to the prostitute table with Antonya and Verochka, "Mind if I sit with you ladies?" asked Zarbon.

"Don't mind if you do," Verochka said fanning herself.

"Why do you have to have sex just to afford good money? Why doesn't Freezer or Cooler give you money out of the kindness of their hearts?" asked Zarbon.

Verochka and Antonya thought this was a joke that he was making and they laughed, "Are you serious? Do you realize that I was sent by my mother at a young age to have sex with Freezer so that I could buy some food?" Verochka asked.

"But doesn't he give you nice clothing anyways?" asked Zarbon.

"Only if we fuck him good enough, other than that I can't afford nice clothing, I have to have sex with Freezer or Cooler good enough so they can buy me nice clothing." Antonya said.

"But I thought you two were rich, Freezer gives me money to buy nice clothing." Zarbon said.

"You're the heir to Freezer's throne, of course he gives you money to buy your cloths, and we have to buy our food from G-Mart and other stuff unless Freezer and Cooler give them to us." Verochka said.

"Ew you go to G-Mart, Auntie May said that G-Mart is where peasants go to buy their food and clothing." Zarbon said.

Verochka and Antonya looked at one another baffled, was he seriously that stupid? "I don't know if it was the same charm school that I went to, but it sounds like you came out of a school for bigots!" Verochka said.

"Come on Verochka the sun isn't going to darken our skin if we stay in here." Antonya and Verochka left the table.

"Something strange is going on." Zarbon thought to himself completely clueless about how much of a bigot Auntie May was.

Meanwhile Kiwi and Apple were together in Apple's room, "Something is wrong with Zarbon, he's not acting manly like he used to, he's acting like a retarded sissy!" Kiwi said.

"Why do I care, he offended me, saying that G-Mart is for peasants." Apple said.

"That's the problem, Zarbon was completely sheltered from the real world, he knows how horrible of a person Freezer is, but he doesn't know what it's like for us solders who aren't of royal blood." Kiwi said.

"Should we teach him a lesson; I think the best way to handle this is not talk to him at all." Apple said.

"No it's that charm school that's the problem! He went into it normal prince and then came out as a snob who looks and acts more like a primadanna." Kiwi said.

"What are we going to do?" asked Apple.

"We're going to have to teach the person who did this to Zarbon a lesson; he would help us out, besides I owe him for running off like that." Kiwi said.

"Let's do it!" Apple said.

Apple and Kiwi started plotting so that they could get back at Auntie May.

End of Part 1


	6. Chapter 6

_Zarbon Goes to Charm School, part 2_

Zarbon was sitting in his room wondering why his friends were mad at him, he was not usually stupid, he was just a naïve person that enjoyed the luxuries of life, and he did not like to fight. There was a knock on the door, he got up and answered it, it was Icey, Liya and Dasha.

"What a nice surprise, I didn't expect you all to show up!" Zarbon said.

"We need to talk!" Icey said as she and the other girls came into the room.

"So have you applied what you learned to real life?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes and I'm still getting picked on, charm school didn't help what-so-ever, people are now calling me a snob instead of a defect like they used to call me." Icey said.

"Yes I've disappointed my parents just because I yelled at them for not setting the table right." Dasha said.

"I had an argument with my husband because he wanted to save some money and buy our baby cheaper dippers from G-Mart. I argue with him and said that G-Mart is where the peasants go to buy stuff." Liya said.

"I too have been having misfortunes. I think I just realized something! " Zarbon said getting up onto the bed and standing on it.

"What?" asked Icey.

"We're different, we are used to being pampered and people are jealous, they think we don't like them because they have a different lifestyle than them!" Zarbon said.

"I like my lifestyle I don't want to change anything about it!" Icey said.

"No that's not what I'm trying to say, I must imply that we have been taught to listen to certain music, watch certain movies, and dress a certain way! We also aren't allowed to talk to other people that aren't like us!" Zarbon said.

"You mean peasants right?" asked Dasha.

"Exactly! I just realized that the very friends that I've known for years do not have the advantages that I do. I get my fancy clothing from designer stores like Bebe for Men, Gap and Gucci, only because Freezer gives me money to buy that stuff! But I realized lately that my best friends in the world Apple and Kiwi aren't like me!" Zarbon yelled.

"Because they're a different species?" asked Liya.

"No because they're not royalty! They get their cloths from G-Mart, they don't get paid very much, and they have to buy food for themselves if Freezer can't provide them with food." Zarbon said.

"What are you saying?" asked Icey.

"I'm saying that we need to be just like them so that people can like us better! We have to face the facts that we're being brought up to act like the rest of the planet doesn't exist, it's horrible!" Zarbon said.

"Yah right you're not saint!" Liya said.

"I think I'll be the first saint of Planet Freezer when I have this to say, we should do whatever the hell we want to do!" Zarbon said.

"What are you talking about?" asked Dasha.

"In other words, we can talk to whoever we want to talk to, we can talk about whatever we want to talk about, and we can be friends with much poorer people like Apple and Kiwi if our hearts desire it!" Zarbon said.

"But you're not supposed to befriend poor people, mum said that they will take advantage of you and steal your money." Icey said.

"Suck it to your mum! We need to act like everyone else!" Zarbon said.

"That's an excellent idea!" Icey said.

"First we're going to listen to the Beatles!" Zarbon said.

He put the record on and everyone was dancing to "A Hard Day's Night. Everyone was dancing and singing along then all the sudden there was a knock on the door, "Keep it down retards!" Dodoria yelled.

"Now what do we do?" asked Liya.

"We need to think of something else, I got it!" Zarbon yelled.

Meanwhile Apple and Kiwi snuck over to Icey's house where she lived with her mother and father, they wore ski masks so that Auntie May would not recognize them. "Are you sure this is a good idea Kiwi?" asked Apple.

"Yes we have to make her change our friend back, or at least change him half-way back." Kiwi said.

"I can't help but think we could get into big trouble." Apple said.

"Don't be a baby Apple, in a man's world that isn't allowed, only women are allowed to nag." Kiwi said going up to the door.

"I'm not nagging…" Apple tried to say.

Kiwi rang the doorbell, inside uncle Herb woke up, "That's funny, who could that be this time at night?" he asked getting up and going to the door, "Who are you fellows?" he asked. Kiwi hit him with a crowbar and knocked him out.

"What was that noise?" asked Auntie May, she went downstairs and saw that Kiwi was tying Uncle Herb up to a chair, "Herb!" She said. Apple knocked her out with a crowbar.

Zarbon and the girls went to a bar, dressing like normal people, they bought crappy looking cloths from G-Mart. Zarbon dressed like a redneck, Icey dressed like a prostitute, Liya did too, and so did Dasha. Their cleavage was showing, whereas Zarbon was in cowboy boots and they walked up to the bar and sat down, "Howdy miss, we would like a beer please!" Zarbon said.

"Do I know any of you?" asked the bartender.

"Yes we're from out of town and we would like a few wine coolers to keep us giddy." Zarbon said picking at his nails.

"I thought you just said that you wanted beer." The Bartender said giving them a glare.

"We do, we want beer and wine coolers." Zarbon said.

"Coming right up," the bartender said rolling her eyes.

Auntie May opened her eyes up and saw that she was tied to a chair, "Whoever did this is going to pay dearly!" She yelled.

"Don't worry dear I'm here!" yelled Uncle Herb.

"Herb are you tied up too?" she asked.

"Yes I'm tied to you back to back in another chair!" he said.

"I'm scared Herb!" she said.

Kiwi came out with a toilet plunger, "Well, well, well if it isn't Mrs. Manners and Mr. Manners? Who is the ruler of this roost?' asked Kiwi hitting the plunger onto the palm of his hand.

"I am what's it too you?" she asked pissed off. All the sudden Kiwi went up to her and plunged her face, "Tell us how we change our friend back?" asked Kiwi.

"What on earth do you thugs want?" asked Uncle Herb.

"We want answers!" Apple said.

"Take all the money if you want! I don't care just don't kill us!" Uncle Herb said.

"No we're not going to kill you; we just want to know how you can debrainwash our friend is all!" Apple said.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm not a scientist!" Auntie May said.

"We want the money too!" Kiwi yelled.

"Kiwi we came here to get answers not money!" Apple said.

"I need to pay for my rent before my contract is up!" Kiwi said.

"That's your problem, but don't take it out on them!" Apple said.

Meanwhile at the bar Zarbon and the girls drunk to the point of being drunk, "So what do drunk people do exactly?" asked Liya.

"I've only gotten drunk once before, I don't remember what happened, oh yah I pinched Freezer on the butt then I went up and pinched you on the butt Liya." Zarbon said laughing.

"You are horrid!" Liya said.

"I was joking!" Zarbon said snickering.

"I think we need to tear that school down, it's for amateurs and we're better than that!" Icey said.

"You're absolutely right, but we can't tear it down, we need to do something more destructive!" Zarbon said.

"Like what?" Dasha asked.

"Let's teepee their house, I saw this on television where Fat Albert and his friends teepee the teacher's house!" Zarbon said.

"That didn't happen!" Icey said.

"Let's be the first ones to make it happen, come on girls to the bathrooms!" Zarbon then fell down, got back up and they went to the restrooms and got a bunch of toilet paper.

Later on, the bartender went to the bathroom and saw that there were not any rolls of toilet paper in sight, "Hey Nigel, someone stole all the toilet paper!" she said.

Kiwi and Apple were still arguing, "We're not getting any money!" Apple yelled.

"Yes we are I need to pay my rent before my contract is up!" Kiwi said.

"What happened to your money in your account?" asked Apple.

"I spent it on prostitutes!" Kiwi said.

"You moron! How could you be so stupid?" asked Apple.

"I was horny, I wanted to fuck some women, Freezer's prostitutes were far away so I had to go with the dirty ones on the street!" Kiwi said.

"Kiwi that's dangerous, did you at least use a condom?" asked Apple.

"I was trying to survive; I didn't think to buy any!" Kiwi yelled.

"You are so sick!" Apple yelled.

"Excuse me, but who is your friend that I brainwashed!" asked Auntie May.

"Zarbon, you turned him, into a pussy willowed snob!" Kiwi yelled.

"I made him more dignified!" Auntie May said.

"Yah right, he's losing his friends and he's giving people the wrong idea and doesn't even know it!" Kiwi yelled.

"I made him respect himself more, what harm does that do to him?" asked Auntie May.

"Because he's calling Freezer's solders peasants that shop at G-Mart!" Apple yelled.

"Peasants do shop at G-Mart!" Auntie May said.

"Apple the toilet plunger, go pea in the toilet and stick it in there so we can stick it on her face!" Kiwi said.

"Ew I don't want to, besides I don't need to go!" Apple said.

"Give me that!" Kiwi yelled grabbing the plunger and plunging Auntie May's face.

"Are you going to talk now, how do we make Zarbon act more respectful towards us?" asked Apple.

"What do you mean?" asked Auntie May.

"He's walking like a sissy and people are mistakening him for being gay!" Kiwi said.

"I taught him to walk like a gentleman!" Auntie May said.

"Apple go pea in the toilet!" Kiwi said.

"Why can't you go pea in the toilet?" asked Apple.

"Uh just a second!" Kiwi then took the plunger, went behind the kitchen counter, and peed on the toilet plunger and then he came back over there.

"Now we'll get you to talk bitch!" Kiwi yelled.

"Kiwi don't!" Apple yelled.

Meanwhile Zarbon and the girls were on the property of the school, and they had bags of toilet paper with them, "Let's start with the walk studio!" Liya said.

"Charge!" Dasha yelled. They all ran to the studio and threw the toilet paper on it and then they broke into the place not paying attention to the alarm going off.

"This is for saying that my tail should hit the ground!" Icey said throwing toilet paper onto the floor.

"Where are those manner books, I need to rip some up!" yelled Dasha, she found them and then tore some up and threw some out the window.

"How's this for stuff I shouldn't do!" Zarbon then took his pants off and peed on the floor, "Oh that feels good!" Zarbon said.

"This is what I think of your manners period!" Liya took a chair and threw it into the mirrors.

The part was then over when the police showed up, "Freeze you are under arrest for vandalizing and teepeeing someone's property!" a police officer said.

"Zarbon I think we're going to jail, do they have any toilets there?" asked Icey.

"This one is intoxicated!" the officer said.

"So are the rest of these hooligans." Another officer said.

As an officer handcuffed Zarbon, Zarbon decided to seduce his way out of this one, "So handsome what is your name?" he asked slurring his words.

"That is none of your concern!" the officer said.

"To think that this is what I get for trying to be normal!" Zarbon then threw up.

"Ew cleanup on isle one!" the officer said as he put Zarbon in the car.

"Hey officer do you have any female nurses that can attend to my wounds?" asked Zarbon.

"Its jail not a porno convention son." The officer said as he drove Zarbon and Icey in the car to the police station, whereas Liya and Dasha ridden in another car.

Kiwi and Apple were finally able to get some words out of Auntie May, "I don't usually follow the book, the book has great ways that Zarbon can become normal again, but with style!" Auntie May said.

"You're saying that some of those techniques that you made up were fake?" asked Apple.

"No I just exaggerated them a little bit, no harm done!" Auntie May said.

"So where is this manners book?" asked Kiwi.

"It's on the desk upstairs!" Auntie May said.

"Maybe you won't get your face plunged in pea after all!" Kiwi said as Apple went to get the book.

Apple came back downstairs with the book, "Come on Kiwi I don't think she'll be much help, but maybe the book will be." Apple said.

"This isn't the last you have seen of us!" Kiwi said trying to intimidate Auntie May.

"I hope to God that it's the last time!" Uncle Herb said.

Apple and Kiwi went back home, "Is someone going to untie us?" asked Auntie May.

In jail Zarbon was scared, "I'm scared I want to go home! I need a bucket to spit up in!" he yelled throwing up onto the floor.

"I'm not feeling too great either Zarbon," Dasha said.

"I'm not touching another ounce of alcohol ever again!" Icey said.

Zarbon was feeling a little sensual and still a little drunk, "Icey when we get out of here, would you like to marry me?" Zarbon asked.

"I will Zarbon, I will!" Icey said.

Liya was pissed off a still drunk when she heard that, "You bastard! I hate you!" she went over to Zarbon and slapped him on the face.

"What did I do?" asked Zarbon slurring his words.

"You were supposed to have been mine loser!" Liya said slurring her words and belching.

"He's mine I saw him first!" Icey yelled pushing Liya.

"No back off, I've known him since we were six!" yelled Liya.

"You both can have him, as long as I find another man to impregnate me!" Dasha said throwing up.

"Stop fighting ladies! If you both want me just come and get me!" Zarbon said.

They both frowned at him, "On second thought I'll just wait until Freezer dies to find myself a wife." Zarbon said sitting down.

Freezer came into the prison, "Oh damn it!" Zarbon said.

"Zarbon you have a lot of explaining to do!" Freezer said.

All the sudden Icey's parents showed up too, "Icey what happened? I got a call from Freezer saying that you, Zarbon and those other two girls whose names I forgot were caught under the influence and trashing the charm studio!" Auntie May said.

"What do you mean you already forgot my name bitch?" Liya said throwing up.

Then more embarrassing things happened when Dasha's parents showed up, "Даша, я думал что ты непушая!" her father said.

"Папа, Мама почему ты пришли?" Dasha yelled back at her parents speaking in Russian with a thick English sounding accent.

"Could you please speak English, we don't speak Russian!" Liya said. Liya's husband showed up with their infant daughter, "Iram what are you doing here?" Liya asked.

"I'm surprised at you Liya! I expected better of you!" Iram said it looked like he had gained some weight since the last time Zarbon saw him.

"I'm sixteen what did you expect!" Liya said crossing her arms.

"Ew no offence Liya but Iram has really let himself go." Zarbon said.

"Tell me about it." Liya said.

"All right that's enough; we're going to get you all out of here!" Freezer said.

Later on that night Zarbon was in his room, there was a knock on the door, Kiwi and Apple came into the room, "We heard what happened, how could you be so reckless, that's the worst thing you have ever done other than kill people for Freezer!" Apple said.

"I know, I was drunk and I still feel awful!" Zarbon said.

"Why did you go out and get drunk for?" asked Apple.

"The girls and I just wanted to be peasants like you guys." Zarbon said.

"You don't' have to be like us, you can still be vain, but you have to respect our differences at the same time." Kiwi said.

"Besides don't call us peasants, we don't work in the fields." Apple said.

"Done," Zarbon said coughing.

"By the way, Auntie May let us have this book on manners. As it turns out she wasn't teaching you guys the right way of being outstanding citizens." Kiwi said.

"I knew she was a fraud." Zarbon said.

"Look don't fell too badly, we can teach you what is appropriate conversation and what isn't, and we can manly up your walk too." Kiwi said.

"Thank god because walking like a girl was getting on my nerves." Zarbon said.

Apple's eyes grew wide, "Then why did you do it?" he asked.

"Because Auntie May said that to be an attractive individual you had to walk gracefully, I'm a man, I'm clumsy and I am not meant to walk like a pussy!" Zarbon said.

"For once I guess I was wrong." Kiwi said.

"What do you mean you were wrong?" asked Zarbon.

"I thought you were trying to be a girl or a drag queen!" Kiwi then started laughing.

"Shut up Kiwi, give me the book and I'll read it, as long as I don't have to go back to that charm school, then I'll be all right." Zarbon said grabbing the book from Kiwi and starting to read it.

"By the way, you do in fact have a punishment; Freezer said that you, Icey, Dasha and Liya are sentenced to two days of community service." Apple said.

"You mean like helping the poor out?" Zarbon asked.

"No like cleaning the toilets, mopping the floors and dressing up modestly." Kiwi said with a smile on his face.

"NOOOO!" Zarbon said.

End of Story


End file.
